Feeling absolutely terrible..

I can't quite figure out how to describe in words quite how horribly I am feeling today. What a week it has been! I haven't gone this long without updating in awhile.

Class kept me pretty busy all week. We were told that after Tuesday, coming to class was not required. We could work on the projects at our own pace... we just had to get 555 points to earn an A. However, the teacher made it very clear that if you don't show up to class, don't bother e-mailing him with questions. So... since I have never used all these programs and have had questions, I pretty much had to go.

We've had quite a bit of bad weather this week. Our seminar on Wednesday was postponed for a week because it was really bad outside. I ended up staying in Madison Thursday night so I could make it to class on Friday and not have to drive again. That was a good decision--the roads were not very fun. It could have been worse... but it was extremely foggy, raining (freezing rain at times), windy, and slippery. Not so fun!

The pain and burning in my legs and feet has eased up a bit, though it is still there. I am going to Sioux Falls to the hospital on Tuesday for the nerve conduction study. I am a bit nervous that it'll be for nothing and the results won't be helpful since the pain isn't as horrible right now. Not that I wish for more pain, but it may affect the results.

Thursday was a very long day for me... I woke up at 5:30 to get to Madison to class by 8. I was busy all day long... and didn't even get to Laura's where I was staying until almost 11 pm. Then we wanted to catch up, so we were up until 3 am talking. I got 3 hours of sleep before I was awake and getting ready for class again!

Luckily, yesterday I was able to get back to Brookings by 1 pm--it was not a full day for me. Running on 3 hours of sleep is not easy, especially with how exhausted I've been.

When I woke up yesterday, I wasn't feeling the greatest. I figured that I was just really tired from a lack of sleep. Then I took some medicine on am empty stomach because I didn't think I could handle eating anything. All day I just felt kinda sick. I realized that I was really dehydrated, which didn't help. I had all the symptoms of dehydration. It makes sense, because I only like VERY cold water with lots of ice... and when I am gone from 6:45 am until 6 pm, I can't keep water cold that long. I wasn't drinking enough all week while I was in Madison. I tried hard to force myself to drink lots last night, but my stomach was only able to handle so much. I haven't rehydrated yet--I can tell because I still have all the symptons and a nasty headache. I also have a fever, and just don't feel good at all. Hopefully I will be better by Monday!

I have also had some bad back pain the last few days and I just feel so incredibly run down and horrible. I don't think the majority of people I know (especially my college student friends) realize how lucky they are to live each day with minimal pain and sickness. My life would be SO different without pain... I would get so much more done and can't even imagine where I'd be right now.

So, as I said, for my class... we have to get 555 points to get an A in the class. We choose from this long list of projects. There is a point value based on the difficulty... some are 5 points, 10 points, 25 points, 50 points, 75 points, and 100 points.

I started off the class by doing a 100 point project, which was smart. I've done a lot of the 10 and 25 point projects because the 100 point projects are HOURS (5-10) of work...

As of right now, I have turned in 440 points. The frustrating part is this--everything is due Wednesday, and nothing has been graded. I could do 555 points of projects, and then get points off for silly things and not get my A. It would be nice to know where I am at for grades! So I have 3 projects left to finish (and a 5 point final, which is not really going to affect my grade either way). Once I am done with those 3 projects, I will have turned in 620 points. That means I have an extra 65 points, so I can get docked a lot of points and still get an A. Since the teacher hasn't bothered to start grading, that's the only way to be sure I can get my A.

The project I am working on right now is pretty easy--it's a smartboard activity. Then I have a 100 point project to do that will take quite some time... it's a Google Earth project. And finally, a CMAP portfolio that will also take a bit of time. I am hoping to get it all done (minus any problems/questions I run into) by Monday so I can go to class Monday morning and get help and turn it all in. That way I can skip class the rest of the week until the final on Friday. We'll see if that actually happens or not.

If you'd like to see my projects, you can go here:

http://students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458/EDFN465/EDFN465.htm

The ones that are hyperlinked are the ones that I have completed. Some of them you may not be able to see because you may not have the software on your computer. The ones still in black are the ones I am working on.

I am ready to be done with this class and start student teaching. I am getting more worried every day about teaching... I cannot even tell you in words how I feel today... it's like I was run over by a truck... and that was just from a short, 3 days of class. I worry about how I will do... and how my body will handle... full weeks of teaching. I guess all I can do is pray about it and do what I can to take care of myself. It's scary, though... this is a big deal... and it costs a lot to student teach. The last thing I want is to get halfway through and physically not be able to handle it, and have to stop. Then I wouldn't ever get my degree. I'm hoping it goes smoother than I imagine it will.

On top of these projects and finishing class... I have to prepare for student teaching. Also, in addition, I have to have a rough draft of my contextual factors sent to Dr. Pauli next week. Contextual factors have always confused me... and I struggle with them. Especially 2-3 PAGES of them. Oye. That's why I hope I can finish this class very soon--so I can work on those and hopefully have next weekend to just RELAX before teaching starts. We'll see.

So I feel like this whole entry was a big complaint... that was definitely not my goal. This class is a bit stressful, and my body is rebelling because it is under so much stress. To be up and going for over 12 hours a day is a lot for anyone... but to do that on top of not one, but several different types of pain... my body is screaming "I hate you!! Can't you just rest and give me a break???" Unfortunately, body, that's not an option.

As always, there are lots of good things in my life. I was able to catch up with a lot of good friends this week... and that was fun. My financial aid refund came in yesterday, so I am relieved about that... There are good things all around--they just get overshadowed by all the difficult and painful things.

Alright, back at it. I want to finish my smartboard activity and turn it in so I can start trying to figure out this Google Earth thing. Hopefully I can have a productive day and start to feel better!