Mayo update

Alright, so I have a lot of people asking for updates on my trip to Mayo… I am sore and not really up for writing about it yet, but I know people are curious, so I figure I’ll start working on the update… hopefully it won’t take too long.

We left Sunday around two in the afternoon. We took Highway 14, which didn’t turn out so well. The roads were so incredibly bumpy and every bump or vibration hurt my feet. I had a rough ride there! I can’t remember what time we made it there, but it was dark outside.

We ended up staying with Chris and Lisa, who are good friends of my brother! They were so sweet and accommodating and helpful! Plus, we didn’t have to pay to stay in a hotel--what a huge blessing! (Thank you to Ross, Chris, and Lisa!) =)

So we got there Sunday evening and got a good night’s sleep before my appointment on Monday. The neurologist that I saw was a very nice woman… I was glad that she was so incredibly nice and understanding. Unfortunately, she said that she believed it was a neuropathy problem, but needed several tests done to be sure.

Tuesday was the worst day of the week… I had several tests (one right after the other) and a lot of them were very painful.

I started out the morning by getting blood drawn. I’m used to lab work, and didn’t think it would be a big deal. Well, she ended up taking 18 tubes of blood!!! They were checking for MANY different things… holy cow! I was glad to be in a wheelchair, because I’m not sure I could have stood up and walked away after all of that.

My next test was a sensory test. It started with the woman asking me to close my eyes. She said the numbers 1 and 2, and I was supposed to tell her when I felt something touching my toe--on 1 or 2. Unfortunately, several of my answers were “I didn’t feel anything at all” because of the numbness--my results were not very good from that test. The sensory test also included tests to see if I felt cold and hot--and I failed those miserably as well.

The next two tests were EMG tests. First, I had a nerve conduction study done. I had one of these done in Sioux Falls earlier this year, and it was SO INCREDIBLY PAINFUL! I was absolutely dreading it. The two women who were doing the test, Linda and Emily, were SO sweet and understanding. They talked me through it, and only had to do one foot instead of two! For those of you who don’t know, it involves a series of electrical shocks on your nerves to see the responses. Basically it’s an hour (or so) of shock after shock on painful areas. It was painful, but I was able to make it through without crying. Then they left and a male doctor came in. He was going to do the next test, which involved sticking needles into my muscles and then having me contract my muscles. The computer let out a weird static like sound--so he was listening to my muscles. Weird. That was painful, especially the needle he put in the bottom of my foot--ouch! I made it through, though.

After that, I had a bit of a break where my mom and I were able to go get some lunch in the cafeteria.

That afternoon, the first test was to take fat tissue from my stomach (2 samples) to look for a specific type of protein (or something) that causes neuropathy. That was quite painful, but he did numb me first, so that was nice. It only took about 5 minutes for that.

I ended the day with x-rays of every inch of my body. Was a bit painful to be ‘shaped’ into specific positions, especially when the lady grabbed my feet after she forgot that they were so sensitive. After the x-rays, though, I was able to leave Mayo for the day. It was the longest day and the most painful, and I was really looking forward to a nap!

Wednesday I only had one test, so I figured it would be an easy day. Ugh! I had what is called a sweat test. They make you take all your clothes off and just cover what is necessary with towels--looks like a mini-bikini. Then you lay on a table and are covered with this gold powder. Then, I was wheeled into this box that is full of heaters and cameras. It gets extremely hot in there. The object of the test is to see where a person sweats and where they don’t. The powder turns purple when a person sweats. People are required to stay in there for about an hour, unless they turn all purple sooner (or their body temperature gets too hot and they need to be removed). It was quite strange to see my shoulder turn purple. I had no idea that all those places could sweat! I turned purple all over in about 15 minutes… except 1/3rd of each foot was still gold. That meant I had to stay in there. I was in there for about 35 minutes total. The woman asked me how I was doing, and I hesitated to try to find an answer. The heat was really irritating my feet and causing pain. She let me quit early. She said that because my feet didn’t turn purple, there was probably some bad nerve damage. That makes sense, because I haven’t been able to feel the heating pad lately when I wrap it around my feet. I decided that I am going to keep the heat and ice off of my feet for now--if I can’t feel it, I could end up doing more damage without knowing it. My whole body was purple and sweaty--gross! She led me to this little room with a shower in it. The purple stuff did not come off very easily--some spots on my arms are still pink from the dye. She said not to scrub it off, but just rinse it. I still have purple on my toes (from the shower--my toes never turned purple, but as the purple ran down my body, it stained my toes). There’s no way I can touch them and scrub them, so I guess they will stay purple until it eventually wears off. This test was not very painful, but was quite disgusting. I hope I never have to do it again!

Thursday I had one test and then in the afternoon, got to go back to the neurologist for results. The test I had was not painful, but was boring. It was an autonomic test--testing to see if I had any nerve damage that affected breathing and things like that. It involved some more electrical shocks--but not nearly as painful as the EMG. There were some deep breathing exercises, and then a tilt test where they tilted the table I was on to 70 degrees, so I was almost standing straight up (I was strapped in, but it was painful for my feet. I walk on my heels because my toes are so painful, so to put pressure on them was not fun. Especially for 10 minutes straight!).

Thursday at 2:15 I saw the neurologist. She went over the results with me. Basically, here is what she said. I was lacking in certain vitamins for a long time after my surgery in August, and that is what caused this pain. She said that it could have been from not taking enough vitamins, or from not getting enough of certain vitamins in my diet. I want to just blame myself and get upset, but I am trying to remember this: I have been on Vitamin D since January, and my level actually has gone down. My body doesn’t absorb things as well after surgery--so even if I had perfect nutrition and took a ton of vitamins, I think this still could have happened.

I have peripheral neuropathy. This is Mayo’s information about it, if you’d like to know more: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/peripheral-neuropathy/ds00131

I need to continue to take all these vitamins that my surgeon has asked me to take, as well as make sure I am getting nutrients in the food that I am eating. Unfortunately, there isn’t really anything that can be done to make it better other than that and time. However, the doctor said that we can treat the pain. She gave me two things. The first is a gel to put on my feet that is supposed to help with the pain. I can put it on twice a day. So far, I’ve used it twice. It does seem to numb/dull the pain for awhile, but it is painful to put it on--I have to touch the most sensitive areas of my feet and rub it in. I’m thankful for the relief it gives, but wish it was easier to apply. She also gave me a new prescription for the gabapentin that I am on. Some doctor gave me a prescription for 300mg once a day (at bedtime). She said that that is a wimpy dose and isn’t surprised that it hasn’t helped. She said that she’s given up to 3600mg a day. She gave me instructions for increasing my dose. Right now I’m taking it twice a day for 5 days--then I’ll move to 3 times a day. The prescription she gave allows me to go up to 2700mg a day, though it will be awhile until I reach that. So we’ll see if the increase helps. The goal is to find relief in these two things, so that I can reduce the amount of Tylenol with codeine I am taking. Right now I’m taking it every 4 hours, because it’s the only thing that gives me any relief.

As far as long term, things are up in the air. I clearly have nerve damage in my feet. She said that sometimes the nerves are able to grow back and operate properly, and sometimes they aren’t. It is possible that I may have numbness in my feet for the rest of my life, though I hope and pray that that isn’t the case. Hopefully it’s not permanent--but I won’t really know for some time.

Overall it was an exhausting week. I’m thankful for answers, though I wish it was possible to reverse this and ease the pain quicker. It sounds like I will still have the pain for awhile, as I work my way up in my medicine. I’m hoping that I am able to ease the pain fairly quickly--we’ll see.

Some other highlights of the week include:

*2% chocolate milk at Applebees
*Bernard the teddy bear
*The comfort of my favorite quilt on a bad pain night
*Having my mom right by my side through it all--good or bad, any time of the day or night
*Finally getting an official diagnosis and a plan of action to make things better
*Knowing that school is over, Mayo is over, and now I don’t have anything to do but just relax and take care of myself for awhile
*The distraction of the computer and word search books that helped pass the time
*Knowing that a LOT of people are anxious to read this update…. Thankful for all those who care and want to know what we found out
*Getting a shower chair to make my life (at least part of my life) a LOT easier and less painful
*Coming home to Gavin, Bailey, and Kado!!!!!! <3

Graduation and Mayo!

It's been awhile since I have updated. Things have been crazy in my life!

I am now finished with my student teaching semester. The pain in my feet got so bad that I had to quit two weeks early. The good news is that I had taught enough that I am still able to graduate and don't have to make those two weeks up.

The burning pain and shooting pains have gotten so incredibly bad. It used to come in spurts, but now I have extreme pain all day every day... I get absolutely no relief from all the pain medicine I am on. It's frustrating.

I saw my surgeon on Wednesday. A few of my vitamin levels are very very low which can cause neuropathy, which has a lot of the same symptoms that I do. I am probably dealing with that. The surgeon and nurse were very impressed with how much weight I have lost, especially since I haven't seen them in many months and have not been able to exercise because of this pain. I've lost 152 lbs. I can't wait until I am feeling better and can exercise and lose weight a bit faster. My surgeon put me on a ton of vitamins, so I am being faithful and getting them all in my system, even though I hate taking pills. I don't know how much it'll help. I've been taking vitamin D since December and my level hasn't gone up AT ALL!!! So I'm a bit discouraged and feeling like all these pills are useless... but I will take them anyway.

I am currently working on backing up my school computer as I turn it in today! I have to go to Madison to turn in my tablet, drop off my Teaching Work Sample (a huge project that I worked on for almost 12 hours yesterday! It's so hard to focus with the pain, but if I didn't get it done, I would have to take an incomplete for the semester until I finished...) and then I have graduation practice.

I can't believe that at this time tomorrow, I will be a college graduate. Woohoo! It's been a long, rough road... but God, my family, and friends have been there to help me get through it. I'm so thankful that it's almost here. I've been counting down for months! :)

I suppose... I should finish backing this up so I can get ready to head to Madison.

Oh! I forgot to mention the most important thing! My appointment with Mayo is on Monday. My mom and I are heading to Rochester on Sunday. Who knows how long we'll be there--I will have my phone and computer, but I may not update much. Please please continue to pray for me! I'm hoping to find some answers and some relief from this awful pain!

Interview

I'm a bit nervous for tomorrow... I have an orientation/interview tomorrow morning (from 9-12:30) for the CHRD (Counseling and Human Resource Development) graduate program... I have already been accepted to the graduate school, but have to go through this interview process to be accepted or denied in the program itself.

Tomorrow is my last "easy day" in teaching. Between the big statewide testing, a play, and an Earth day presentation, I haven't done a whole lot of teaching lately. Come Monday it's back to teaching all day every day... my poor feet aren't going to like that!

Please continue to pray for me... for strength to push through the pain... and for a clear mind for this interview process! I hope it goes well! :)

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to meeeeee
Happy birthday to me! :)

Went to Madison this morning and had plans to go to Sioux Falls and celebrate my birthday... but I was too tired and sore. Changed plans and came home and napped instead. Trying to hold off on taking some pain medicine, because my feet are in some super extreme pain right now. Not exactly how I planned to spend my birthday, but it was a pretty good day. I was able to hang out with my mom, which was fun. I got two books and a puzzle from my mom for my birthday--along with lunch in Madison. =) Can't believe I'm 24 already!

Frustrating day...

I really want to update on a bunch of things, but I am exhausted, so I'm going to try to make this quick.

Health: The pain in my feet has gotten significantly worse since my last update. My feet have started going numb at times. My hands are now affected at times, and it is painful to make a fist or grip a pencil. Now the most recent thing is that I have this circle around my mouth that is numb all the time. The combination of all these things plus back pain is making life extremely tough right now.

I have been to a podiatrist and a neurologist. I'm being referred to Mayo. I do think that they will be able to find an answer, but it could take months to get in there. This is negatively affecting my ability to teach, and I've considered quitting since I am in so much extreme pain. I don't know what the right thing to do is. I've tried to just hang in there and do my best, and it was very frustrating to hear that my teacher felt like I wasn't doing very well anymore.

The neurologist was able to give me some Lidocaine patches. I tested one out today and it seemed to ease the pain a little bit, so I am thankful for that. Hopefully the patches will help get me through the next 30 days.

School: Student teaching is so hard, especially being on my feet for so long each day. It's hours that I am expected to stand/walk around... on already aching feet.

Today was a bit of a frustrating day. I was observed by my supervisor. She got up and left in the middle of my lesson. I found out later that she was talking with my cooperating teacher.

My teacher said that things had gone downhill since the midterm evaluation. (Well yeah, because I am in excruciating pain!!!) She was asking how she fills out a recommendation form for me since my plan is to go to grad school. She asked my supervisor if she could write the recommendation for me to go on to grad school. She doesn't really want to write a recommendation for me to teach, since I have physical limitations.

I fully understand that I do have limitations, and my teacher has to be honest. BUT... I didn't go through 6 years of school and struggle through student teaching just to be recommended to continue my schooling. The goal is to have a letter in my file stating that I would be a good teacher.

It's frustrating to me that I am not going to get anyone to agree that I should be a teacher. If I am not accepted into the program (I found out today that I was accepted to graduate school, but still have an interview and things before I can be accepted into the program)... but if I do NOT get in, I will NEVER find a job if the recommendation says that I am unable to teach.

FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this. I wish I had a normal life without health problems. I'm really upset about all of this.

My birthday is Sunday, but I have no plans. I can't handle much anyway these days with all this pain. I have a LOT to do this weekend, so I do hope to have a productive Saturday so that I can relax on my birthday. That will be my present to myself.

Today should have been a good day--being accepted into grad school. Instead it turned into a lousy day. I am never good enough for the right people. Without a positive recommendation, I won't be able to get a job... so if I don't get into this program, I will have to resort to working at McDonalds or something. This is not how I imagined my life.

=( and =)

17 days (and 5 hours) until my birthday and 44 days (and 15 hours) until graduation!

School has been a journey the last few days. I'm still having major issues with students not respecting/listening to me. I understand that it's a transition when a student teacher takes over--but I feel like I've been there long enough and been teaching long enough that some of this should be over. It's ridiculous how talkative and disrespectful some of the students are. I've given plenty of lectures and plenty of marks and taken away privileges--and it still goes on every single day. Other students are not able to focus and learn because of the handful of students (usually it's 4-5, sometimes it's twice that many--half the class) who can't sit down and be quiet! It's frustrating.

My feet are still hurting a lot. They were actually not hurting too badly over the weekend because I was able to rest a lot. Monday morning, though, they started to hurt badly again. By after school today I was almost in tears from pain.

The weather is getting so nice and warm--that makes me happy, even on a bad day! Right now it is 48, feels like 43. I am finished early (it's 6:24) with my planning for tomorrow. Tomorrow I will teach: spelling, math, social studies, reading, handwriting, and english. We don't have science on Thursdays.

If I didn't have Bible study tonight, I'd go for a bike ride. I need to eat before I go, though, and won't have enough energy after it's over. It will be nice, though, to go to the study and not have to worry about running out the second it's over to finish planning. I don't, however, plan to stick around and chat--I want to get home and get to bed early.

I need to figure out what to eat and get to eating so I am not late for Bible study... I will update again soon, I'm sure! I will have lots to write about in the next several weeks. Hopefully lots of good news and things. :)

Bike ride!

Today was a good and bad day all wrapped into one.

I started out the morning with my appointment with the physical therapist. Unfortunately, he really wasn't able to do much. He gave me some exercises and told me to come back in a week.

I was frustrated by the appointment... I had plans to meet up with a friend, but I called her and she didn't answer. She never called back, and we didn't get to hang out.

Instead I went home and laid down and rested a bit. I can tell that I spent most of the day off my feet, because my feet are feeling pretty good right now. Don't get me wrong, there is still pain... a lot of pain... but it's not quite as bad as it was yesterday or the day before.

Today I was able to do something that I haven't done in YEARS. I got out my bike and went for a ride! My brother bought me a bike several years ago, and I was not able to use it. Today for the first time in years, I got the bike out and rode. I rode 1.5 miles, which is not bad for a first ride! It's hard to ride when my feet hurt, but it was easier to ride than to walk.

Tomorrow morning I am heading to Madison early. I had a meeting at 11, but due to a family problem, it was moved to 8 am. I'm hoping the pain stays at a minimum tomorrow so that I can get through the day.

The rest of the weekend will be spent planning. Starting Monday, I will be teaching all day long--every subject. That means I have a LOT more planning to do. Saturday and Sunday I will be doing lots and lots of planning. I also hope to tidy up my room this weekend. If I have extra energy, I'd love to work on cleaning out the closet full of clothes that I have. We'll see if I get to that or not.

My feet are starting to hurt more... the pain always tends to get worse at night. The shooting and burning pain increases. I do have heat on my feet, and that helps a bit.

I plan on spending the night on the computer and probably finding a bit of time to read some of my book. I think I'm about halfway done with it. I'm going to go do something else for a bit. I'm hoping to get to bed very early, since I have to get up at 6:15. (Yuck!)

Sick from pain...

I so wish I could snap my fingers and make it be Thursday morning. I have an appointment with a physical therapist about my feet. Honestly, I have NO idea how he is going to help at all... but my doctor suggested it. My options were to go to physical therapy or go to a chiropractor's office. There is one physical therapist that I really like, Chuck... and I'd gladly see him. I'm not so sure about the chiropractor. So I'm hoping that there is something that Chuck can do.

Today, I was in the middle of teaching my math lesson when I had to practically run out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom because I knew I was going to throw up. It's not like I have the flu... it's just that my body is in so much extreme pain, that I got sick. I went back and finished math class and then was able to sit down a bit during lunch.

My teacher told me that I could leave at 2:15 when I was done teacher for the day. The FCCLA group at the high school had something going on for the students this afternoon, so after reading was over, I was done for the day. Today and tomorrow are conferences (until 8 pm). I was supposed to stay for them, but then ended up leaving school. I'm praying for a better day tomorrow because I have to make it through the whole day and conferences tomorrow.

Even though I'm home, I have a lot of preparing to do for tomorrow. I'm so exhausted and would love to take a nap... but I also want to go to bed early tonight. I'm resting right now with heat on my feet. In a little bit I will get up and work on planning.

I have such extreme pain that I don't even have the right words to describe it.

I'm going to just rest a little bit before I start working. One and a half more days to get through.. and two days until I can see a doctor.

Breather

Tonight is one of the first nights I've had where I don't have a ton to do! I had a very short to-do list tonight. I stayed at school until 5:15 doing lots of planning. I came home and graded spelling sheets, and entered them into the gradebook. Then I created a word search to give to the students tomorrow... all I have left to do is make a list of my G rated movies.

I finished the book I was reading. Now I'm reading a Karen Kingsbury book. I am hoping to read a few chapters and then go to bed very early! Tomorrow is Friday, which is one of the most hectic days of the week!

It's been a very rough week physically. I was having a lot of issues for several days where I would feel sick every time I ate. That's so frustrating, but I think it has finally let up. I'm feeling better these days!

I wish I could say the same for my back and feet. The pain in my feet has been so awful this week--I just about break into tears several times throughout the school day when I am standing. It's so hard on my body.

I graduate in 58 days. Today my mom booked a place to have a party. I wasn't sure I was going to have a party--but I am now! I need to get invitations done soon and get those out to people. I am excited! It's been a long 6 years!

I can't wait until it is warmer outside so I can get out and walk and ride my bike. I am getting a bit stir crazy being inside all day. I don't have a lot of energy to go out and walk right now anyway with the pain I have, but I can't wait for the day that I can spend an hour or so in the evening walking. It can't come fast enough!

I am going to go make a list of those movies and then work on getting my medicine down so I can get to bed early. The pain takes SO much out of me every day... I am ready for bed by 7 most nights! Thankful that I can actually get there somewhat early tonight! Tomorrow is jeans day at school--love Fridays!

Lincoln

This weekend, my mom and I made a trip down to Lincoln to visit my brother. I was so excited... but I have felt horrible the whole trip. I'm bummed that it ended up that way. I really hope we can do it again, maybe this summer... when I am feeling better.

The last several days (since Wed or Thurs), every time I eat, my stomach gets very upset and I have pains in my stomach. If that doesn't go away, I'll have to try to find time to go see the doctor. It's not normal and not fun. I've spent half the weekend feeling sick.

My feet have been horrible this weekend as well. The Vitamin D still hasn't kicked in at all... in fact, the pain is getting much worse in my feet over time. Additionally, my skin is starting to get sensitive. When my mom rubs my feet, the first few seconds hurt so badly because my skin feels like someone has taken a grater to it and cut it up badly. That's how sensitive it is--that just started recently, and I'm not sure why it's happening.

I really need to get a few social studies lessons planned this weekend--I've glanced at things, but haven't gotten any of the actual plans done. I suppose I'll do that tonight when we get home. I wish we could just snap our fingers and be home! I'm not looking forward to the long drive.

Regardless, it was really nice to see my brother... don't get to see him enough! We got to meet some of his friends last night... I wasn't very talkative because I wasn't feeling well, but they were very nice.

It was 24 degrees at home and 50 some degrees here--love it! I can't wait for it to be 50 degrees up in SD. We have to wear winter coats at school until it's 55 degrees--yuck! I start wearing jackets/sweatshirts at 35-45 degrees. I hope it gets to 55 soon.

I think we are going to head out and get on the road in a few minutes, so I'm going to end this for now... hopefully the ride home will be nice to me.

Can't physically handle this!

Today I realized just how great of a toll student teaching is taking on my body.

I knew I was more tired than usual because I am busy all day and into the night.

But today I realized that my body is absolutely screaming at me, telling me to quit because it can't handle this schedule anymore!

Imagine for a moment that I had no other problems aside from my back problems. Even then, student teaching would be more than I could handle.

My back does not do well being on the go from 6:30 am until 9 or 10 pm. Some of that time I am at home, eating supper and relaxing... but a lot of my nights are spent planning. I plan better (easier) if I am sitting up, so I sit up for hours after sitting all day. The last few days my back pain has been just awful... and I don't have anything to take the pain away.

I am standing while I teach at school every day--it starts with recess duty at 10:10 and continues pretty much until 2:10. I do sit down and eat lunch, but then have to run to the bathroom, make last minute copies, or move things around the room for my next lesson. My back is killing me and just begging me to stop.

Then there's my legs/feet... they have gotten NO better, and in fact have been much worse the last few days... all the standing sure isn't helping.

Add in allergy problems and UGH. Physically, I am not handling this semester well at all. I am enjoying teaching, but it's taking every last bit of strength I have just to get through each day. It's hard and frustrating and some days (like today), I just want to curl up in a ball on my bed and sleep the day away.

Bye bye February!

Yesterday was a day full of planning. I woke up before 8:30, and got right to work on planning. I was productive until around 3, and then I just lost it. I could no longer focus or get a single thing done. It's so frustrating when that happens! It took me from 3 until about 7:30 pm to find motivation and get going again. I was finally able to finish what I was working on around 9:15 or so. I was trying to get my lesson plans done for my social studies unit.

Most of the time, I can just plan a lesson using whatever method I choose. I usually just type out notes in Word to help me remember what we are doing each day. For example, each reading unit has an outline with what we are doing each day. However, any lesson that I am observed teaching must have a formal lesson plan. We have a specific format we are required to use, and they must be well written! A good lesson plan for a 30 minute lesson could be anywhere from 3-8 pages! In addition to the lessons from when I'm observed, every lesson for my Teaching Work Sample (TWS) must have a formal lesson plan. We are only required to have 10 lessons for our TWS, but I am going to have approximately 16. So that means 16 formal lesson plans!

I start teaching my map unit tomorrow, so that means that I need 5 lesson plans done for this week. Yesterday I got the first three done.

Today I need to plan at least the first few days of reading for this week, but I'd love to get all 5 days planned. We'll see how it goes. I only have a couple of hours left to do it.

I was able to read a little bit this weekend, so that made me happy. I finished the book I was reading--it was very good! I probably should have spent that time planning, but I needed a break and some time to do something I enjoy.

Next weekend, my mom is going down to Lincoln to see my brother. I'd like to go with, but it really depends on how much I can get done. If I don't get my planning done, there would be no point in making the long trip to just sit in his apartment and work all weekend. I'm going to work extra hard to try to get both this week and next week all planned, so I can go and enjoy the weekend away!

This morning in Sunday school I had 9 little ones! It was a bit chaotic, because I had a nasty headache (allergies, I think). They were playing quite loudly, and I just wanted to walk out and go home! Obviously that wasn't an option. Once it was time for our Bible story and snack, they settled down and were quiet. :) I do enjoy teaching this class--it's such a fun age.

I am still having a lot of pain in my legs and feet. My right leg hurts badly almost all the time--the right side of my leg and my knee. I get cramps or something similar in my left leg, but rarely have long-term pain there. My right leg though--ouch! The pain is so hard to handle, and totally ruins my concentration and focus. I can be doing really well planning or teaching a lesson... and then the pain flares up and I struggle.

Overall, though, things are going well. This week I will be teaching almost all morning. The students start the day with special (computer, guidance, gym, art, music...) and so they don't even start their time in the classroom until 9:30 or so. Recess is at 10:10, and then I will teach from 10:30-12. That only leaves one tiny spot for my cooperating teacher to teach in the morning. Then in the afternoon I teach from 1-2:10.

I love how sunny it has been lately, and today it was even pretty warm! It's 26 degrees right now (feels like 19). I think it was even warmer than that when church got out, though. I had to take my gloves off and it was not too cold without them! :) I can't wait for 40s and 50s! I'm so glad tomorrow is March. I really dislike February as a month and love it when March rolls around. I just hope it continues to get nicer instead of colder!

I need to go read the story for reading this week so I can do some planning. I don't know how busy I'll be this week and if I'll have a chance to update, but hopefully I'll be so busy planning so I can go to Nebraska!

Sick!

Surprisingly, I made it almost a month in the school system before getting sick. I started student teaching February 1st (I can't believe it's been almost a month!), and am dealing with my first sickness-a nasty cold. It's not the end of the world... just congestion, headache, sore throat, etc. It's certainly not fun, but I'll live. It definitely is taking my energy away, though. It's draining fast these days.

I've had no long term relief with my feet and legs, and the aching is so hard to tolerate. Thankfully, I get a little relief from the icy hot and the heating pad... but the relief comes in small doses. Very small, in fact! I can't wait for this pain to get better.

Teaching is going well, but really is wearing me out. Between the pain, sickness, and just busy schedule and such--I have been getting tired so early at night. I went to bed before 9 last night. I've been going to be early at night, but waking up several times throughout the night (generally at 11-12, 3 am, and 5 am). It's frustrating and I wish I would just sleep soundly all night--my body needs it.

I've now lost 127 lbs. Getting there--slow but steady. I can't wait for warmer days when I can go outside and go for walks. I also can't wait for the day that I can ride my bike again! It will be so so so nice. Right now I don't really get any exercise except while standing up teaching. Don't get me wrong--that's a lot of standing/walking around and is exhausting. I really look forward to evening walks in the nice weather, though.

It's only 7:20, but I'd LOVE to go to bed. I should plan something, but I may put it off until tomorrow. I do have to get my medicine down before bed, and that's always an ordeal. I have 5 pills to take tonight. Yuck! I don't handle pills well. And that's without taking Prilosec, which I need to start taking for acid reflux. I don't plan to start it today--I will struggle enough with 5 pills.

I wrote you this book...

Overall, this week went well. I had a really frustrating lesson where the kids were out of control and just would not listen... and my cooperating teacher was out of the building for awhile. It was not a fun situation--but good to get that first failure out of the way. My other lessons have been going well.. but it's inevitable that there will be bad days and lessons that you teach and then think "well, that was absolutely pointless". I'm trying to just keep telling myself that it was just one bad lesson and that next time will be better--and it was.

I was observed by my university supervisor on Thursday. She watched me teach my reading lesson on fables. She had nothing but positive feedback-both my supervisor and teacher thought the lesson was great. They made comments about how fast I adjusted and took to the role of a teacher. They usually have to tell students at this point to not be nervous and find their teacher voice. I remember those days when I did my level III field experience... my voice was so shaky because I was so nervous! I didn't experience that at all in this classroom--I was immediately comfortable. I'm not sure why, but that's awesome! I was grateful for the positive comments and evaluation, and am glad that they think I'm doing so well. It will be a few weeks before I am observed again.

I taught math and reading all week, and they went well. I will be taking over social studies next week, though we have agreed to wait until the middle of the week instead of starting on Monday. They are finishing up a unit, and so we are going to wait until they are done with that--then I will start with my unit on maps. My unit (this is what I'm doing my teaching work sample on) will be at least 16 lessons. For the teaching work sample, there must be a pre-assessment and a post-assessment. I gave the students the assessment on Thursday... and only one student passed with a low C. Everyone else failed--the lowest was 17%. That's good news for me--if there had been several kids who got A's or B's, it would be hard to teach this unit. But since they almost all failed, that shows me that they don't know this information yet. (They shouldn't--it hasn't been covered at all). That means I have lots to teach them! :)

This weekend I have a lot of planning to do. I'm where I need to be in math, so I didn't bring home my math to plan. I do need to plan this week's reading lessons. I already know what I plan to teach/do each day, but I need to write it out a bit and organize it. That should take less than an hour.

What is going to take the longest amount of time is starting planning my map unit. When I plan for reading, I can just take a post-it note and write down what I plan to do--I don't have to do a formal lesson plan. I usually end up writing more than I need to, because I want to be prepared and have extra things planned in case we have time left. With the map unit, though, (since it's for my TWS) I have to have a formal lesson plan for each lesson. So that's 16 lessons (at least) with about 5 page lesson plans (on average)--80 pages. I need to have the first three lessons approved before I teach them, so my goal for this weekend is to get three lessons planned. If I don't get them done by Monday, I can get them done by Tuesday. I have a day or two leniency since I am not starting with it on Monday.


Today is a funeral for my cousin. I've been so torn on what to do. It's hard to explain it all because everyone reading this doesn't know my family history. I haven't seen or talked to a large majority of my dad's side of the family since there was a big blow-up when I was about 10. My cousin who passed away (car accident) was 39. That means he was 16 when I was born. I don't remember him or most of his siblings... I remember two of them--the youngest two, that my brother and I played with when we were young.

I don't remember my cousin or, like I said, most of his family. Therefore, it is logical for me to not go to the funeral. Funerals are a time to remember a life and pay respects... and it's a big strange to do that when you don't know or remember the person.

However, family has always been so important to me. It's always felt like I have this hole in my life because I'm disconnected from half of my family. While a funeral isn't really a good time to try to connect with people you haven't seen in 13 years, it may be the only chance I'd have to see these people for many many years. So part of me really feels that I need to go and at least be present and supportive.

I don't know. I've been trying to come up with a solution... to decide what is right. I don't like funerals and certainly wouldn't choose to spend my one free day going to one... if there wasn't this feeling of importance to try to connect.

It starts in a few hours, and I am in a LOT of pain today--so I'm kind of leaning towards not going. I am not sure I can physically handle an hour drive each way and an afternoon of standing up.


Speaking of pain... ugh!!! The pain and aches in my legs have been awful this week. There have been several times while teaching that I have just wanted to burst out into tears because it hurts so bad. And then it just ruins my mood. Yesterday I had a great day (though it was soooo hectic! busy day at school) and got home a few minutes before 5 pm. I was in a great mood. Then, I laid down and the aching pain was like... SCREAMING at me. It's almost like... during the day I have pain, but am too busy to fully notice. When I stop and let my body rest, the pain is just excrutiating. Then I get in a bad mood, and that's not fun at all. I'm still taking the Vitamin D (twice a week), but it hasn't helped at all yet.


I do, as I said, have a lot of planning to get done this weekend, but I'm hoping to find time to read my book. I started reading a Karen Kingsbury book on 2/6. I read one chapter, and haven't picked it up since! I've been way too busy! I just don't have time to read every day, or even every week! I'd like to finish the book this weekend, but that may not happen. I hope to at least read a bit, though.

I don't remember if I wrote about this already, but I got a different phone. I had a Blackberry Storm... I ended up getting rid of it. I had to pay $400 to make the change, because it wasn't time for me to upgrade. I had to pay full price (almost $300) for a phone, and then buy insurance and all that. In the end it will be worth it, because I'm taking $30 off my bill each month since I won't be paying for internet anymore. I think that in the end it will actually save me about $450. So I ended up getting a Samsung Intensity--a red one. (http://www.celularis.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Samsung-Intensity.jpg) I really like it so far! It's weird to go from a touch screen phone back to a regular, plain phone... but it is worth it. It's helping me simplify my life a bit, which helps me feel more in control.


I also chopped my hair! I got 5-6 inches cut off... it's the shortest I've had it since I was really little... it's so strange! I don't think I could put it up even if I tried! It's nice though because I can literally just brush it and go... don't have to blow dry it or put anything in it. The lady who cut it told me all about how I should use mousse and do a little bit of blow drying and all that--but I much prefer it this way. I don't like the feeling of having anything in my hair... and I think it looks just fine when it dries! I've gotten a lot of compliments on it. The librarian, who had only seen me twice before, noticed it right away and said she loved it! :) My class asked me if I was trying to look like my cooperating teacher--haha. She has short hair, but I think it may be even shorter than mine. It's funny--a lot of the teachers do have very short hair. I don't know if that's just how they prefer it or what... but for me, it was definitely a matter of convenience during a hectic time when I don't want to deal with my hair!


Alright, I suppose I should end this book (haha--my entries are always so long. I plan for them to be short and concise and then I ramble on and on). I need to think about eventually having some lunch and then planning for at least a couple hours. I have two Tyler Perry movies that I got last weekend and haven't had time to watch--so I'm hoping to get enough done to watch at least one this weekend! I'm sure I'll be updating soon enough!

School update

Alright, let's see how quickly I can update everyone on the last two weeks! I don't want to write a book, but want to give an update!

My first week of student teaching went well. I think I wrote a few times throughout that week. It was exhausting to transition into being at school for 8 hours a day! I was really looking forward to the weekend to relax, but wound up with a nasty migraine and didn't have a good weekend. Week 1 went right into week 2, and so by Friday I was EXHAUSTED!

Last Monday I started teaching reading... since that's my favorite subject, I've enjoyed it a lot. It was definitely a great place to start.

Today is President's Day, so there was no school. Yay for an extra day off to plan! Tomorrow I start teaching math--eek! Math is the subject that scares me the most. Really, I don't know why... I enjoy elementary school math, and do just fine when helping students with it. I think it's just because I have never taught math to a full class before. It's unknown and therefore a bit scary. It'll be a good experience--we'll see how tomorrow goes! They're learning the 6's multiplication facts.

Next week I will be taking over social studies and starting my big map unit. Every student teacher has to do a teaching work sample, which is a HUGE project and what students dread most about this semester--it's basically teaching one unit of at least 10 lessons. My TWS is a map unit and will be about 16 lessons! that's about twice as much work as it has to be!!! I'm a bit nervous about that... but we'll see.

I have a bit of planning yet to do tonight--I need to move around some of my reading activities and prepare a template to copy off tomorrow. Other than that, I think I am done for the weekend. I have a lot more planning to do in general, but won't get it done tonight. I will be busy most nights this week planning away!

I've had this just really overwhelmed feeling lately. A lot of it is how busy I am. I pretty much get home from 8 hours at school and eat supper and plan a bit and then crash. I'm used to staying up til 1 or 2 am and have gone to bed between 8 and 10 lately. It's difficult to adjust to that.

I ended up going to get a new phone today. I had a Blackberry. While I loved it, I haven't actively used the internet aspects of the phone in a few months. When I first got the phone, I used it all the time to check Facebook and e-mail and all these other things. Now I just don't have the time. I'm at school all day and then I'm by a computer at night, so I don't use it. I'm paying $30/month for internet I'm not using. So today I went and changed plans. I had to pay full price for a phone plus insurance and it was $400... but I will get a small rebate and will have insurance for 2 years. I will also save about $450 by not having to pay for the internet anymore. In the end, it will save me money... but it was hard to write out that check! They couldn't give me anything for my Blackberry... so I am going to try to sell it on e-bay. We'll see!

I also cut my hair this weekend. I got about 5-6 inches cut off. It feels weird to have such short hair, but it is lighter and my head feels better. My head has been so sensitive lately because I've been losing SO much hair (after surgery). Wearing it up in a ponytail just kills my head... so I decided to get it cut and layered and now I can just brush it and go. It's still not ideal... I hate the natural curl in my hair and would prefer if I could have another hairstyle... but it's the best I can do for now. It's definitely lighter!

I'm hoping that between the phone and the hair... my life is a little more simplified. When I get really overwhelmed, that's what I try to do--simplify my life. That's why I like to rearrange/clean my room when I get busy and stressed. I did clean off my desk, but need to clean the rest of my room soon.

I haven't heard much more on Patrick. It sounds like things are the same as they were the other day... which is both good and bad. They found out he does have a heart condition... though I don't know any specifics. Keep praying for him, and I'll update if I find out any more information.

One other thing I wanted to talk about was the reward system in the classroom. The school district has a district wide discipline system. Students are given marks for things such as disrupting the class, acts of violence, and not following directions.

I talked with my teacher about implementing another type of system. This is how it's going to work. We're going to start giving out these little colored pieces of paper that say "I'm responsible" on them. Students can collect them and turn them in for rewards. There's a point system that will be hung in the classroom. I am not sure what the totals will be, but it's kind of like this:

5 tickets.......1 raffle ticket
10 tickets.....Play games on computer during recess
15 tickets.....Juice and snack with teacher during recess

That's just an example--I believe there were 8 or 9 things on the list. They will be given out randomly.. to students who are setting a good example, doing something they should be doing, etc. I think it'll really help with a couple of students who are really difficult to handle... and will be a fun way to encourage students to behave! We'll see!

The last thing I wanted to talk about is Sunday school! I started yesterday and took over the Pre-K class. I don't know how long I will be there--the teacher is taking time off to have her baby! So I don't know--a month, three months... no idea how long maternity leave is generally, especially for something like a once a week Sunday school class. Anyway... I took over yesterday and they are adorable kids. 4-5 years old... it was a bit hectic because I was kind of thrown into it and didn't have anyone to help me. I'm thinking that next week will go a little smoother. I think I'll enjoy it though. My church in Madison was good, but we didn't have a curriculum and support for me in that way... I had to either create lessons all my own or buy the materials for us to use. That's the nice part about a 1000 person church--they have the money and resources to have the right curriculum. So that will be helpful because I don't have a lot of extra planning to do. :)

Okay, I am going to go get a bit of planning done before supper. I am hoping to get into bed early tonight--it will be a long week. My Vitamin D hasn't kicked in yet, and so the pain in my legs/feet has been horrible lately. Early bedtimes are my friend! Hope all is well!

Pray for Patrick

Week 2 has gone well. Today was the Valentine's Day party... I made out like a bandit. I think I have enough sugar to last me until Halloween now! haha :)

I am in over my head as far as planning. I have three subject areas to plan for this weekend. I'm excited because on Tuesday there will be some big changes in the classroom. I'm implementing a new reward type system--I'll probably write about that soon.

Right now, though, I want to focus on something else. I want to ask if everyone would please pray for my best friend's brother. He's in the hospital with blood clots in both his lungs. I haven't heard anything since the initial text message, so I don't have any updates or anything. Just please please pray for him... his name is Patrick.

I'm going to make a list of things that I will hopefully talk about soon:

* The last two weeks (recap)
* What I'll be teaching next week/other information
* New reward system in the classroom/other changes
* Work with the children's ministry at my church

I actually have a lot going on and lots to say... but I'm just going to leave it at this and hopefully write a more detailed entry later... please pray for Patrick!

Possible good news!

FINALLY got some results that may lead somewhere and eventually reduce the pain in my life! I'll write about that in a minute...

My second week of student teaching is going well. I taught my first lesson yesterday. My lesson today went about an hour overtime--but with the teacher's permission first. The students were working so well and so we just kept going. I now have to alter my lesson for tomorrow. It's going well so far, though. Over the weekend I had a nasty migraine that made me so sick to my stomach. Yesterday was tough to get through--my cooperating teacher told me that I could go home, but I stuck it out and made it through the day. While I still have a bit of a headache today, it's much better! :)

Okay, back to the results. Got home at 5 pm and there was a letter from the clinic. On Friday I had blood work done to test my Vitamin D levels. I don't understand how a deficiency in Vitamin D can cause intense pain--so I'm still a bit unsure that this is the one and only problem. But...

A normal level is between 30 and 100. My level is 4. Yeah, that's quite deficient! So my doctor advised something about 50,000 units twice a week for a month (or something like that) and then a lower number from there. I looked online, but can't find the right information. I don't know if this is in shot form, pill form, or what... but most of the pill information I found was that it was fish oil related. I have such a hard time taking pills because they upset my stomach--and the smells of certain pills and the tastes of them are too much for me to handle. IF these are pills I have to take that taste or smell like fish, I already know I won't be able to handle it. So I need to get some more information. Hopefully I can find a treatment though and maybe if that level is back where it needs to be, the pain will lesson. Let's hope so!

I need to do some planning tonight for tomorrow and Thursday, and eat supper... then hopefully I'll be in bed fairly early. My head hurt so badly last night and I was in bed by 9 pm! Crazy stuff.

I'm going to go try to get some stuff done... I'm busy busy busy these days! 8 hours at school, up and down, on my feet, working with loud children... very different from sitting in a desk for hours at a class!

Awful migraine...

After such a good first week, I certainly didn't plan for my weekend to go this way.

Friday night I took the chance to relax and unwind from a busy week. I guess that was my mistake, and I should have spent the night planning. I woke up Saturday morning with an awful headache, that eventually turned into a full blown migraine. I took a 3 hour nap yesterday and was still asleep shortly after 11 pm.

I woke up around 7:30 this morning and took some Imitrex for the migraine, but it didn't help at all. It made me feel worse for a little bit before I dozed off to sleep. I woke up again at 10:30 with horrible pain. The pain is awful, and it makes me SO sick to my stomach. Ugh!

I have planning to get done today. I had hoped to plan all 5 reading lessons for this week, but I'll be doing well if I can just get through tomorrow's lesson. I e-mailed my teacher, since she said she'd be checking her e-mail if I had any questions or problems. I wanted to let her know why I hadn't e-mailed her and assure her that I'd have tomorrow's lesson planned. Our neighboring teacher gets bad migraines, and so my teacher has helped her out quite a bit when she gets them. She said that if I am still not better tomorrow, she can teach the lesson. I'm hoping that for my sake that isn't the case--I can't handle one more day of feeling this way--but it's nice that she is so understanding.

I had a long list of things to get at the store today--some for school and some other stuff--but I don't know if I will make it. I'm not sure what to do. I need these things, but if I go out in the cold and walk around, I may feel worse. I already am in so much pain and every movement makes me feel like I am going to throw up. :( It's not fun.

I hate that the two days that should be restful and fun are the days I spend in bed feeling horrible. I really need energy for the upcoming week... every weekend I deal with this in some form or another. Seriously--the last three weekends I've been in bed in pain or sick. :( It's so frustrating.

I just want to feel better... is that so much to ask for?

So far so good!

Things are still going well with student teaching. There's not a whole lot to update on, though. I've just been doing observation and grading and working individually with students or in small groups. Technically I should still be observing and not yet working with students, so my teacher seems quite impressed by how fast I grade things, how quick I catch on (to putting them in her online grade book, etc), and how willing I am to work with students already. So far so good! I'm enjoying it.

I am incredibly sore by the end of each day... and I'm not sure how to make the pain situation any better. Between my back and my legs/feetl, I am just a mess at night. My mom rubs my feet and gives them massages (in the morning and before bed) which helps a LOT. Even heat doesn't help much anymore.

Tonight I will be eating supper soon and then will be heading to Bible study. Last week I was there until 10 takling to Sally... hopefully tonight I can leave right when it's over. I do enjoy talking, but hope to get home early enough for my mom to rub my feet and help me get the cats out of the room so I can get settled for the night. Definitely going to bed early tonight!

I will be going to get blood work done on Friday to see about a Vitamin D deficiency and possibly B 12. I'm not sure if we're doing the B 12 or not--that was checked in November and was fine. Apparently a Vitamin D deficiency can cause problems like the aching in my feet. We'll see what the results say.

Today was the first official meeting I sat through as a student teacher. It was all the third grade teachers in town from the two schools. They talked about the language arts standards and writing standards and things like that. They had met previously, so I was a little confused but was able to follow along pretty well. I took notes for our neighboring teacher who didn't make it to the meeting because of a serious incident that happened at school today--she was in a meeting with the principal. At least I was good for something! :) It was a bit above my head, but that's to be expected.

Tomorrow is my "big meeting". It's when my supervisor comes to meet my cooperating teacher. The three of us will sit down and go through a bunch of things. That is, assuming the weather cooperates. My supervisor comes from Madison. The teachers were talking today and saying that after midnight, we are supposed to get freezing rain and then get snow on top of that... and several inches of snow on Friday. So we'll see!

I'm going to go help my mom with my supper... but I just wanted to let everyone know that things are going well so far and I'm really enjoying student teaching, even though I'm sore and exhausted! :) It's worth it!

Survived day one

I survived the first day.

It was actually a really good day, but I am incredibly sore and really tired. My back and feet hurt so badly! I switched chairs at the end of the day, so we'll see if the chair I use tomorrow makes it easier on my back.

When I got there, my cooperating teacher gave me letters the students had written for me on Friday. I think everyone wrote one except two girls who were gone. They were so cute! :) It was quite obvious by the content, handwriting, and length what kind of student they were. Most of my first impressions were correct!

The students came in, but weren't in there long before they were off to library. We went to computer class with them and then went back to the classroom for the rest of the morning. A lot of what I did today was observation, though I did play a game with all the students (in groups of 3-4) throughout the day.

They weren't allowed to go outside because the wind chill was below 0. Inside recess was interesting... there were a handful of girls that sat around the table I am working at and just wanted to talk talk talk! Adorable--it felt good! :) They were excited over someone new, and I was glad to get to know them. Surprisingly, by the end of the day, I knew all 19 names. But we'll see how I do tomorrow after they all change clothes! haha :)

I got three colored Valentine's Day pictures throughout the day from a few of the girls. Very cute! "To: Miss Nelson" hehe

Lunch was cut a bit short today. Teachers are given 45 min for lunch... but because of the inside recess, the students came back into the classroom at 12:20. I didn't even get through my lunch and they were running back in. Since several girls wanted to sit and talk to me, I felt a bit awkward eating... so I just put it away. That won't always be that way--they will soon (hopefully) be able to go outside for recess soon.

The afternoon went quickly. I spent some of the time in the work room playing that math game with the students. Then we had handwriting and reading and whatever else!

Pretty soon it was time to go home! It was hard for me to creep out to my car and clean it off--it snowed so much while I was in school today!

I had to go to the administrative building to get a staff badge with a code to open the doors... so I got home around 4:45.

We have a few other things going on this week. Thursday is the meeting between my teacher, supervisor, and I. Wednesday after school all the teachers (K-12) have a teacher planning/development meeting... that will be held at the intermediate school--I haven't been there yet.

Tomorrow I will be working one on one with a student who struggles and takes quite awhile to process certain things. I'm not sure which subject we'll be working in, but I said that would be just fine! My teacher also asked if I'd take two boys into the workroom who are advanced in multiplication skills and start on two digit (for example, 12 x 8). Sounds good to me!

I don't have any lesson planning yet, so I have the night to relax. I'm going to watch some TV and then either read, work on Valentine's (will probably wait with those for awhile), or start a project. We'll see. :) I'm going to go get a few things done and eat supper! So far so good--we'll see how the rest of the week goes!