Well, tomorrow is the big day. I start student teaching bright and early tomorrow morning.
Our stove came today. It hasn't been used yet, but looks awesome. :)
I spent quite a bit of time reading today. I finished one book and read about 70 pages in my next book. I also finished my contextual factors and got those sent off to the 2 people who need them.
Now I'm all set for tomorrow--I think. I do have a few things to put in my bag for tomorrow, and of course, my computer. That can't be packed until morning. I have to wake up pretty early tomorrow just to be sure I have enough time to make my lunch and all of that.
The pain is so bad today. I can hardly focus on anything else because it is just overwhelming. That's not looking very promising for tomorrow. =( I'm hoping for less pain tomorrow.
My lunch today didn't settle very well, and I am still not feeling great. I want to eat supper and go to bed... yet I'm not hungry... and I took a nap. I don't like taking naps when I have to go to bed early! I tried to not fall asleep, but I couldn't help it. I felt so awful, I just zonked. I'm still hoping to fall asleep somewhat early so I am rested tomorrow.
Anyway... we'll see how tomorrow goes. It sure would be nice if I had some pain medicine that actually helped me get through the day. I will probably update tomorrow or in the next few days--if I am able to function enough after school.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
It's okay if you don't wanna be my friend..
There haven't been any new developments since my last entry. I still am not sure where to go with all of this... the neurologist seems to be the best solution, but waiting until May to go is not a very good option. I'm still trying to figure it all out.
Today I woke up in quite a bit of pain. I knew, though, that I had some errands to run. I needed to get a few things before Monday. I had to get bread and things to make a sandwich for my lunches this week and some water and a few other things. But first we had one other place to go. Our stove has been acting up lately. When we turn it on, it won't heat up. It has to be turned off and on a few times before it will work. It is still working, but it's annoying, and likely to quit soon. So I took my mom to Lowe's and paid for a stove to be delivered tomorrow. She says she'll give me the money for it when her tax return comes--I'm not too worried. I wouldn't have done it if I was truly worried about the money. It's important for us to have a working stove... so I made sure we have one. It'll be exciting to get it tomorrow!
The pain is just awful tonight. I read 200 pages in my book and finished it... and started a new one. I didn't get very far in the new book until I had to stop. I will try again later to read a bit.
Tomorrow I HAVE to get my contextual factors done. I hoped to get them done by Friday, but I didn't. Pain and all that... it just didn't happen. They are due Monday so I have to get them done tomorrow.
I try so hard to just shut up and be positive. I try to not mention the pain... try to smile when I want to cry... but it doesn't always work--in fact, lately, it's nearly impossible.
I know that at some level, nobody likes a person who is negative all the time. Even if that negativity is well founded... not just looking for little things to complain about.. but real pain.. it's just not pleasant to be around someone who is negative all the time.
I think that in life, overall, I've done a pretty good job of that. I mean, I've had pain since I was 8ish. Horrible pain since I was 17/18ish... and it's gotten much worse from that point even.
I have tried very hard to stay positive and hopeful--and think I've done okay at it.
But right now there is so much coming against me. Student teaching is hard and physically draining for anyone... regular, healthy students are stressed out and exhausted throughout the whole semester.
Now imagine going through that with daily, aching, stabbing, shooting pains in your back.
Add on aching pain all over in your legs and feet that constantly changes locations.
Add on burning pain that cannot find any relief--burning that makes a person feel like they are dying in a fire.
And it's not just the physical. Think about the mental impact. The pain... shooting, burning pain... stops my brain and makes me forget what I was saying because that jolt of pain was horrible.
Constant fogginess in my brain... trouble concentrating, focusing, talking... a struggle to function normally because the pain is just so overwhelming that my body and brain can't handle it.
It's not just about the physical pain. It's just just something a pain pill can take away. It's not something that can just be ignored or pushed through. It's a very real problem that affects every aspect of my life.
I've had quite a few people lately say that that basically amount to these things:
* I have pain too and I don't talk about it 24/7
* Asking for a pity party is not going to take away your pain
* If you focus on your pain so much, it'll never get better--you need to stop thinking about it and talking about it
* Everyone has pain in their lives. We all have to learn to deal with it.
Those things may be partially true. And I know some of my friends have pain in their lives. But none of my friends have experienced my pain. I have a feeling if they were feeling how I feel today, they'd be laying in bed crying and begging God to either take the pain away or take them away. I've been there many many times in my 23 years. I understand that not everyone is going to be understanding... or supportive... or encouraging. But honestly.. if you don't want to hear how I'm feeling, delete me as a friend on Facebook, don't read my blogs... it's not that hard.
I need to have places to go where I can vent and say how I am truly feeling. Those who truly care about me should understand that and respect that.
I am worried about Monday. I am in so much pain right now and can't imagine having to stand up for 8 hours with this pain. I just ask that you please keep me in your prayers... I don't know what the solution is to this pain... but until we find one, I'm going to need a lot of prayer. I'm also going to need the support of friends who are willing to listen to how I feel, even if I say "I am in so much pain!" 500 times. I would be there for my friends in the same situation. And if you aren't willing to do that for me, that's fine--I have plenty of friends. But don't make underhanded comments to try to make me feel guilty for talking about how I feel.
I'm going to try to go read some more before bed. I hope everyone is staying warm and healthy!
Today I woke up in quite a bit of pain. I knew, though, that I had some errands to run. I needed to get a few things before Monday. I had to get bread and things to make a sandwich for my lunches this week and some water and a few other things. But first we had one other place to go. Our stove has been acting up lately. When we turn it on, it won't heat up. It has to be turned off and on a few times before it will work. It is still working, but it's annoying, and likely to quit soon. So I took my mom to Lowe's and paid for a stove to be delivered tomorrow. She says she'll give me the money for it when her tax return comes--I'm not too worried. I wouldn't have done it if I was truly worried about the money. It's important for us to have a working stove... so I made sure we have one. It'll be exciting to get it tomorrow!
The pain is just awful tonight. I read 200 pages in my book and finished it... and started a new one. I didn't get very far in the new book until I had to stop. I will try again later to read a bit.
Tomorrow I HAVE to get my contextual factors done. I hoped to get them done by Friday, but I didn't. Pain and all that... it just didn't happen. They are due Monday so I have to get them done tomorrow.
I try so hard to just shut up and be positive. I try to not mention the pain... try to smile when I want to cry... but it doesn't always work--in fact, lately, it's nearly impossible.
I know that at some level, nobody likes a person who is negative all the time. Even if that negativity is well founded... not just looking for little things to complain about.. but real pain.. it's just not pleasant to be around someone who is negative all the time.
I think that in life, overall, I've done a pretty good job of that. I mean, I've had pain since I was 8ish. Horrible pain since I was 17/18ish... and it's gotten much worse from that point even.
I have tried very hard to stay positive and hopeful--and think I've done okay at it.
But right now there is so much coming against me. Student teaching is hard and physically draining for anyone... regular, healthy students are stressed out and exhausted throughout the whole semester.
Now imagine going through that with daily, aching, stabbing, shooting pains in your back.
Add on aching pain all over in your legs and feet that constantly changes locations.
Add on burning pain that cannot find any relief--burning that makes a person feel like they are dying in a fire.
And it's not just the physical. Think about the mental impact. The pain... shooting, burning pain... stops my brain and makes me forget what I was saying because that jolt of pain was horrible.
Constant fogginess in my brain... trouble concentrating, focusing, talking... a struggle to function normally because the pain is just so overwhelming that my body and brain can't handle it.
It's not just about the physical pain. It's just just something a pain pill can take away. It's not something that can just be ignored or pushed through. It's a very real problem that affects every aspect of my life.
I've had quite a few people lately say that that basically amount to these things:
* I have pain too and I don't talk about it 24/7
* Asking for a pity party is not going to take away your pain
* If you focus on your pain so much, it'll never get better--you need to stop thinking about it and talking about it
* Everyone has pain in their lives. We all have to learn to deal with it.
Those things may be partially true. And I know some of my friends have pain in their lives. But none of my friends have experienced my pain. I have a feeling if they were feeling how I feel today, they'd be laying in bed crying and begging God to either take the pain away or take them away. I've been there many many times in my 23 years. I understand that not everyone is going to be understanding... or supportive... or encouraging. But honestly.. if you don't want to hear how I'm feeling, delete me as a friend on Facebook, don't read my blogs... it's not that hard.
I need to have places to go where I can vent and say how I am truly feeling. Those who truly care about me should understand that and respect that.
I am worried about Monday. I am in so much pain right now and can't imagine having to stand up for 8 hours with this pain. I just ask that you please keep me in your prayers... I don't know what the solution is to this pain... but until we find one, I'm going to need a lot of prayer. I'm also going to need the support of friends who are willing to listen to how I feel, even if I say "I am in so much pain!" 500 times. I would be there for my friends in the same situation. And if you aren't willing to do that for me, that's fine--I have plenty of friends. But don't make underhanded comments to try to make me feel guilty for talking about how I feel.
I'm going to try to go read some more before bed. I hope everyone is staying warm and healthy!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Quit telling me I'm fine!!!
='(
I am so incredibly frustrated right now that all I can do is sit here and cry.
The test on Tuesday ended up being extremely painful. Other people said it wasn't... I don't know why, but it was very painful for me. It is not something I ever want to repeat again!
--------------------------
So yesterday I spent the day in Madison. I finished my class, got my A... and helped a few friends try to finish their stuff. It was a long day. I didn't eat lunch and had some issues with sharp pain in my stomach in the afternoon. I don't think those two are related... I don't eat lunch most days I am in Madison. But the pain eventually went away. I got home around 5:30 pm.
--------------------------
Last night I went to Bible study. It's a group that I actually had tried to go to last semester... so I tried in September, but it was too soon post-surgery, and it just didn't happen. Then I got involved with IV again, and that was it. So I was finally able to go to this Bible study last night. It's a group of people who are out of college but are still young... 20s-30s
I really enjoyed the study, and everyone there was so nice. I do love my college friends, but it's nice to move away from the college ministry stage and into whatever this stage is called! The Bible study was good and the fellowship was awesome. Felt good to get back into a Bible study! Looking forward to next week. I was joking with Jess that I was sure all my IV friends thought the Bible study was a fake and didn't exist. I kept telling them about this new Bible study I was going to be going to... and week after week I couldn't make it. So last night I was finally able to go and prove that they are real! haha :)
--------------------------
So today I had a free day since I am finished with class. I've just been hanging out at home in my PJs working on some stuff. Right now I'm working on letters to some teachers who have influenced me and been wonderful support. Tomorrow I am going to Madison to meet with two people (my advisor and the field placement director) and pass out these letters. I probably won't catch most teachers, so I'll just leave them in their mailboxes. I'm also having lunch with a friend. It'll be the last trip I have to take to Madison until the very end of March!
--------------------------
Today this lady called from the clinic (I'm not sure what her title is, but she's like... an assistant for my doctor). The test on Tuesday came back normal.
Okay... FRUSTRATING!
Here's the thing. I don't want the results to come back and show some serious, life threatening condition. Obviously, I was never hoping for that.
But now what? According to all three tests, there's nothing wrong with me--I'm totally fine.
Tell that to my legs and feet that ache and burn like I'm being burned alive. Tell that to me when I can't even stand to stand up because the pain is so bad.
And what now? I start teaching on Monday. Student teachers don't get time off... we don't get sick days. The lady said to keep taking the medicine (Lyrica) that they gave me for my legs. First of all, that's the one they gave me a 14 day supply of--so if I want to keep taking it, I'm going to have to pay $50 a month for it... and it's NOT even helping--not at all.
The other solution is to go see a neurologist.
Fine. Except when you go see someone like that, it's not just a one time visit to find out you have the flu. There's an introductory visit where they get all your history. They may order some tests. Then they try this and that and see if they can figure out the cause of the pain. It's not a one appointment visit--it's an ongoing process that could take 5 or 10 or more appointments.
For a person who gets NO sick days--I can't take 5 or 10 days off. I just can't.
Which means, basically, I have to wait until May.
And the pain is so bad that I don't know how I can wait that long. It is so painful today that I don't think I could teach all day--and this is not even the worst it's been.
I'm just so frustrated and... beat down. Disappointed. I don't even have words to describe how I feel... but to be told over and over that I'm fine when I feel some of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.... and then not have anything to help make the pain better... I just can't do it anymore. ='(
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with the pain. I don't know how to get by until May. I just don't know. I'm sick of it all. I want a life without pain. Even if I had back pain, but could get through student teaching without all these other issues (flu, leg/foot pain, sleep problems...).
I am CONSTANTLY getting hit with one more medical problem--and it's always at the worst possible time. I told my friend Candice yesterday... we were sitting working on class... and I said "I can't imagine how it feels to go through college without extreme pain. I can't imagine how wonderful it must be."
That's how I feel. I've fought through the pain. I've done well in school and still found the energy to not only have friends, but volunteer my time and be a leader in several organizations. But the whole time I've felt pretty lousy... I can't imagine how different it would have been if I had felt good. I could've done so much more...
And now as I think about my final task--student teaching... I just want to cry. I am so excited. But I'm terrified... because not only do I have to try to face it with my back problems... and sleep problems... but also this unknown problem that I can't get an ounce of relief for.
=( God, give me strength... I need it so badly right now...
--------------------------
Happy birthday, dad! <3
I am so incredibly frustrated right now that all I can do is sit here and cry.
The test on Tuesday ended up being extremely painful. Other people said it wasn't... I don't know why, but it was very painful for me. It is not something I ever want to repeat again!
--------------------------
So yesterday I spent the day in Madison. I finished my class, got my A... and helped a few friends try to finish their stuff. It was a long day. I didn't eat lunch and had some issues with sharp pain in my stomach in the afternoon. I don't think those two are related... I don't eat lunch most days I am in Madison. But the pain eventually went away. I got home around 5:30 pm.
--------------------------
Last night I went to Bible study. It's a group that I actually had tried to go to last semester... so I tried in September, but it was too soon post-surgery, and it just didn't happen. Then I got involved with IV again, and that was it. So I was finally able to go to this Bible study last night. It's a group of people who are out of college but are still young... 20s-30s
I really enjoyed the study, and everyone there was so nice. I do love my college friends, but it's nice to move away from the college ministry stage and into whatever this stage is called! The Bible study was good and the fellowship was awesome. Felt good to get back into a Bible study! Looking forward to next week. I was joking with Jess that I was sure all my IV friends thought the Bible study was a fake and didn't exist. I kept telling them about this new Bible study I was going to be going to... and week after week I couldn't make it. So last night I was finally able to go and prove that they are real! haha :)
--------------------------
So today I had a free day since I am finished with class. I've just been hanging out at home in my PJs working on some stuff. Right now I'm working on letters to some teachers who have influenced me and been wonderful support. Tomorrow I am going to Madison to meet with two people (my advisor and the field placement director) and pass out these letters. I probably won't catch most teachers, so I'll just leave them in their mailboxes. I'm also having lunch with a friend. It'll be the last trip I have to take to Madison until the very end of March!
--------------------------
Today this lady called from the clinic (I'm not sure what her title is, but she's like... an assistant for my doctor). The test on Tuesday came back normal.
Okay... FRUSTRATING!
Here's the thing. I don't want the results to come back and show some serious, life threatening condition. Obviously, I was never hoping for that.
But now what? According to all three tests, there's nothing wrong with me--I'm totally fine.
Tell that to my legs and feet that ache and burn like I'm being burned alive. Tell that to me when I can't even stand to stand up because the pain is so bad.
And what now? I start teaching on Monday. Student teachers don't get time off... we don't get sick days. The lady said to keep taking the medicine (Lyrica) that they gave me for my legs. First of all, that's the one they gave me a 14 day supply of--so if I want to keep taking it, I'm going to have to pay $50 a month for it... and it's NOT even helping--not at all.
The other solution is to go see a neurologist.
Fine. Except when you go see someone like that, it's not just a one time visit to find out you have the flu. There's an introductory visit where they get all your history. They may order some tests. Then they try this and that and see if they can figure out the cause of the pain. It's not a one appointment visit--it's an ongoing process that could take 5 or 10 or more appointments.
For a person who gets NO sick days--I can't take 5 or 10 days off. I just can't.
Which means, basically, I have to wait until May.
And the pain is so bad that I don't know how I can wait that long. It is so painful today that I don't think I could teach all day--and this is not even the worst it's been.
I'm just so frustrated and... beat down. Disappointed. I don't even have words to describe how I feel... but to be told over and over that I'm fine when I feel some of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.... and then not have anything to help make the pain better... I just can't do it anymore. ='(
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with the pain. I don't know how to get by until May. I just don't know. I'm sick of it all. I want a life without pain. Even if I had back pain, but could get through student teaching without all these other issues (flu, leg/foot pain, sleep problems...).
I am CONSTANTLY getting hit with one more medical problem--and it's always at the worst possible time. I told my friend Candice yesterday... we were sitting working on class... and I said "I can't imagine how it feels to go through college without extreme pain. I can't imagine how wonderful it must be."
That's how I feel. I've fought through the pain. I've done well in school and still found the energy to not only have friends, but volunteer my time and be a leader in several organizations. But the whole time I've felt pretty lousy... I can't imagine how different it would have been if I had felt good. I could've done so much more...
And now as I think about my final task--student teaching... I just want to cry. I am so excited. But I'm terrified... because not only do I have to try to face it with my back problems... and sleep problems... but also this unknown problem that I can't get an ounce of relief for.
=( God, give me strength... I need it so badly right now...
--------------------------
Happy birthday, dad! <3
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Nerve conduction study...
Leaving in just a little bit to go to Sioux Falls for the nerve conduction study.
I'm a bit nervous. Not so much nervous about the pain, though I'm not looking forward to that either. I've heard it really isn't that painful... but I already have so much pain in my legs today that we'll see.
I'm more worried about the results. Will there be something serious wrong? Or will the results show nothing and lead me back to square 1... where nobody can figure out what is wrong or how to fix it.
I'm trying to not worry, because I know that does absolutely no good. Just can't help it though.
I have read a lot about the test online and what kinds of things it can show... but I can't find anywhere that tells how fast the results come. Is it automatic--as they are doing the test they can see the results in the wavelength things? Does it take a few days? Weeks? Will this just mean more tests to find a more specific diagnosis?
I'm not sure.. but I'll know more in a few hours, hopefully. I'm going to finish getting ready... the pain is worse today than it has been... so maybe that will help the results somehow. We'll see. I'll probably update when I know more...
I'm a bit nervous. Not so much nervous about the pain, though I'm not looking forward to that either. I've heard it really isn't that painful... but I already have so much pain in my legs today that we'll see.
I'm more worried about the results. Will there be something serious wrong? Or will the results show nothing and lead me back to square 1... where nobody can figure out what is wrong or how to fix it.
I'm trying to not worry, because I know that does absolutely no good. Just can't help it though.
I have read a lot about the test online and what kinds of things it can show... but I can't find anywhere that tells how fast the results come. Is it automatic--as they are doing the test they can see the results in the wavelength things? Does it take a few days? Weeks? Will this just mean more tests to find a more specific diagnosis?
I'm not sure.. but I'll know more in a few hours, hopefully. I'm going to finish getting ready... the pain is worse today than it has been... so maybe that will help the results somehow. We'll see. I'll probably update when I know more...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Feeling absolutely terrible..
I can't quite figure out how to describe in words quite how horribly I am feeling today. What a week it has been! I haven't gone this long without updating in awhile.
Class kept me pretty busy all week. We were told that after Tuesday, coming to class was not required. We could work on the projects at our own pace... we just had to get 555 points to earn an A. However, the teacher made it very clear that if you don't show up to class, don't bother e-mailing him with questions. So... since I have never used all these programs and have had questions, I pretty much had to go.
We've had quite a bit of bad weather this week. Our seminar on Wednesday was postponed for a week because it was really bad outside. I ended up staying in Madison Thursday night so I could make it to class on Friday and not have to drive again. That was a good decision--the roads were not very fun. It could have been worse... but it was extremely foggy, raining (freezing rain at times), windy, and slippery. Not so fun!
The pain and burning in my legs and feet has eased up a bit, though it is still there. I am going to Sioux Falls to the hospital on Tuesday for the nerve conduction study. I am a bit nervous that it'll be for nothing and the results won't be helpful since the pain isn't as horrible right now. Not that I wish for more pain, but it may affect the results.
Thursday was a very long day for me... I woke up at 5:30 to get to Madison to class by 8. I was busy all day long... and didn't even get to Laura's where I was staying until almost 11 pm. Then we wanted to catch up, so we were up until 3 am talking. I got 3 hours of sleep before I was awake and getting ready for class again!
Luckily, yesterday I was able to get back to Brookings by 1 pm--it was not a full day for me. Running on 3 hours of sleep is not easy, especially with how exhausted I've been.
When I woke up yesterday, I wasn't feeling the greatest. I figured that I was just really tired from a lack of sleep. Then I took some medicine on am empty stomach because I didn't think I could handle eating anything. All day I just felt kinda sick. I realized that I was really dehydrated, which didn't help. I had all the symptoms of dehydration. It makes sense, because I only like VERY cold water with lots of ice... and when I am gone from 6:45 am until 6 pm, I can't keep water cold that long. I wasn't drinking enough all week while I was in Madison. I tried hard to force myself to drink lots last night, but my stomach was only able to handle so much. I haven't rehydrated yet--I can tell because I still have all the symptons and a nasty headache. I also have a fever, and just don't feel good at all. Hopefully I will be better by Monday!
I have also had some bad back pain the last few days and I just feel so incredibly run down and horrible. I don't think the majority of people I know (especially my college student friends) realize how lucky they are to live each day with minimal pain and sickness. My life would be SO different without pain... I would get so much more done and can't even imagine where I'd be right now.
So, as I said, for my class... we have to get 555 points to get an A in the class. We choose from this long list of projects. There is a point value based on the difficulty... some are 5 points, 10 points, 25 points, 50 points, 75 points, and 100 points.
I started off the class by doing a 100 point project, which was smart. I've done a lot of the 10 and 25 point projects because the 100 point projects are HOURS (5-10) of work...
As of right now, I have turned in 440 points. The frustrating part is this--everything is due Wednesday, and nothing has been graded. I could do 555 points of projects, and then get points off for silly things and not get my A. It would be nice to know where I am at for grades! So I have 3 projects left to finish (and a 5 point final, which is not really going to affect my grade either way). Once I am done with those 3 projects, I will have turned in 620 points. That means I have an extra 65 points, so I can get docked a lot of points and still get an A. Since the teacher hasn't bothered to start grading, that's the only way to be sure I can get my A.
The project I am working on right now is pretty easy--it's a smartboard activity. Then I have a 100 point project to do that will take quite some time... it's a Google Earth project. And finally, a CMAP portfolio that will also take a bit of time. I am hoping to get it all done (minus any problems/questions I run into) by Monday so I can go to class Monday morning and get help and turn it all in. That way I can skip class the rest of the week until the final on Friday. We'll see if that actually happens or not.
If you'd like to see my projects, you can go here:
http://students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458/EDFN465/EDFN465.htm
The ones that are hyperlinked are the ones that I have completed. Some of them you may not be able to see because you may not have the software on your computer. The ones still in black are the ones I am working on.
I am ready to be done with this class and start student teaching. I am getting more worried every day about teaching... I cannot even tell you in words how I feel today... it's like I was run over by a truck... and that was just from a short, 3 days of class. I worry about how I will do... and how my body will handle... full weeks of teaching. I guess all I can do is pray about it and do what I can to take care of myself. It's scary, though... this is a big deal... and it costs a lot to student teach. The last thing I want is to get halfway through and physically not be able to handle it, and have to stop. Then I wouldn't ever get my degree. I'm hoping it goes smoother than I imagine it will.
On top of these projects and finishing class... I have to prepare for student teaching. Also, in addition, I have to have a rough draft of my contextual factors sent to Dr. Pauli next week. Contextual factors have always confused me... and I struggle with them. Especially 2-3 PAGES of them. Oye. That's why I hope I can finish this class very soon--so I can work on those and hopefully have next weekend to just RELAX before teaching starts. We'll see.
So I feel like this whole entry was a big complaint... that was definitely not my goal. This class is a bit stressful, and my body is rebelling because it is under so much stress. To be up and going for over 12 hours a day is a lot for anyone... but to do that on top of not one, but several different types of pain... my body is screaming "I hate you!! Can't you just rest and give me a break???" Unfortunately, body, that's not an option.
As always, there are lots of good things in my life. I was able to catch up with a lot of good friends this week... and that was fun. My financial aid refund came in yesterday, so I am relieved about that... There are good things all around--they just get overshadowed by all the difficult and painful things.
Alright, back at it. I want to finish my smartboard activity and turn it in so I can start trying to figure out this Google Earth thing. Hopefully I can have a productive day and start to feel better!
Class kept me pretty busy all week. We were told that after Tuesday, coming to class was not required. We could work on the projects at our own pace... we just had to get 555 points to earn an A. However, the teacher made it very clear that if you don't show up to class, don't bother e-mailing him with questions. So... since I have never used all these programs and have had questions, I pretty much had to go.
We've had quite a bit of bad weather this week. Our seminar on Wednesday was postponed for a week because it was really bad outside. I ended up staying in Madison Thursday night so I could make it to class on Friday and not have to drive again. That was a good decision--the roads were not very fun. It could have been worse... but it was extremely foggy, raining (freezing rain at times), windy, and slippery. Not so fun!
The pain and burning in my legs and feet has eased up a bit, though it is still there. I am going to Sioux Falls to the hospital on Tuesday for the nerve conduction study. I am a bit nervous that it'll be for nothing and the results won't be helpful since the pain isn't as horrible right now. Not that I wish for more pain, but it may affect the results.
Thursday was a very long day for me... I woke up at 5:30 to get to Madison to class by 8. I was busy all day long... and didn't even get to Laura's where I was staying until almost 11 pm. Then we wanted to catch up, so we were up until 3 am talking. I got 3 hours of sleep before I was awake and getting ready for class again!
Luckily, yesterday I was able to get back to Brookings by 1 pm--it was not a full day for me. Running on 3 hours of sleep is not easy, especially with how exhausted I've been.
When I woke up yesterday, I wasn't feeling the greatest. I figured that I was just really tired from a lack of sleep. Then I took some medicine on am empty stomach because I didn't think I could handle eating anything. All day I just felt kinda sick. I realized that I was really dehydrated, which didn't help. I had all the symptoms of dehydration. It makes sense, because I only like VERY cold water with lots of ice... and when I am gone from 6:45 am until 6 pm, I can't keep water cold that long. I wasn't drinking enough all week while I was in Madison. I tried hard to force myself to drink lots last night, but my stomach was only able to handle so much. I haven't rehydrated yet--I can tell because I still have all the symptons and a nasty headache. I also have a fever, and just don't feel good at all. Hopefully I will be better by Monday!
I have also had some bad back pain the last few days and I just feel so incredibly run down and horrible. I don't think the majority of people I know (especially my college student friends) realize how lucky they are to live each day with minimal pain and sickness. My life would be SO different without pain... I would get so much more done and can't even imagine where I'd be right now.
So, as I said, for my class... we have to get 555 points to get an A in the class. We choose from this long list of projects. There is a point value based on the difficulty... some are 5 points, 10 points, 25 points, 50 points, 75 points, and 100 points.
I started off the class by doing a 100 point project, which was smart. I've done a lot of the 10 and 25 point projects because the 100 point projects are HOURS (5-10) of work...
As of right now, I have turned in 440 points. The frustrating part is this--everything is due Wednesday, and nothing has been graded. I could do 555 points of projects, and then get points off for silly things and not get my A. It would be nice to know where I am at for grades! So I have 3 projects left to finish (and a 5 point final, which is not really going to affect my grade either way). Once I am done with those 3 projects, I will have turned in 620 points. That means I have an extra 65 points, so I can get docked a lot of points and still get an A. Since the teacher hasn't bothered to start grading, that's the only way to be sure I can get my A.
The project I am working on right now is pretty easy--it's a smartboard activity. Then I have a 100 point project to do that will take quite some time... it's a Google Earth project. And finally, a CMAP portfolio that will also take a bit of time. I am hoping to get it all done (minus any problems/questions I run into) by Monday so I can go to class Monday morning and get help and turn it all in. That way I can skip class the rest of the week until the final on Friday. We'll see if that actually happens or not.
If you'd like to see my projects, you can go here:
http://students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458/EDFN465/EDFN465.htm
The ones that are hyperlinked are the ones that I have completed. Some of them you may not be able to see because you may not have the software on your computer. The ones still in black are the ones I am working on.
I am ready to be done with this class and start student teaching. I am getting more worried every day about teaching... I cannot even tell you in words how I feel today... it's like I was run over by a truck... and that was just from a short, 3 days of class. I worry about how I will do... and how my body will handle... full weeks of teaching. I guess all I can do is pray about it and do what I can to take care of myself. It's scary, though... this is a big deal... and it costs a lot to student teach. The last thing I want is to get halfway through and physically not be able to handle it, and have to stop. Then I wouldn't ever get my degree. I'm hoping it goes smoother than I imagine it will.
On top of these projects and finishing class... I have to prepare for student teaching. Also, in addition, I have to have a rough draft of my contextual factors sent to Dr. Pauli next week. Contextual factors have always confused me... and I struggle with them. Especially 2-3 PAGES of them. Oye. That's why I hope I can finish this class very soon--so I can work on those and hopefully have next weekend to just RELAX before teaching starts. We'll see.
So I feel like this whole entry was a big complaint... that was definitely not my goal. This class is a bit stressful, and my body is rebelling because it is under so much stress. To be up and going for over 12 hours a day is a lot for anyone... but to do that on top of not one, but several different types of pain... my body is screaming "I hate you!! Can't you just rest and give me a break???" Unfortunately, body, that's not an option.
As always, there are lots of good things in my life. I was able to catch up with a lot of good friends this week... and that was fun. My financial aid refund came in yesterday, so I am relieved about that... There are good things all around--they just get overshadowed by all the difficult and painful things.
Alright, back at it. I want to finish my smartboard activity and turn it in so I can start trying to figure out this Google Earth thing. Hopefully I can have a productive day and start to feel better!
Monday, January 18, 2010
GRRRR! :(
I'm frustrated. Not that this should be news to anyone.. but.. ugh.
I don't feel like getting into all of it. So here's my Facebook status:
Sarah Mae Nelson is really frustrated that the doctor doesn't know why I am having pain and can't do a single thing to fix it.. which means I live with the pain until I can go have a nerve conduction study done.. which sounds horribly painful.. not to mention I don't have time to go to the hospital for one!!! Just what I want to do.. e...ither live with the pain or go get a ton of needles stuck in me and be shocked.. how wonderful. Ugh!
And on top of that.. the insurance company still won't give me the Provigil, and my doctor can't really do anything about it. So instead he's putting me on Ritalin... which is used to treat ADD and narcolepsy. Apparently it is a stimulant and will help me stay awake during the day. We'll see about that...
I'm just frustrated. My feet are killing me.. and I don't have time to go to the hospital and have this stupid test done. If I can find a time, I have to not eat or drink until the test, and I couldn't go til mid afternoon at least. Plus I will have to prepare for the test the day before, and I just don't have the energy!
I just want to scream and cry. But I'm so exhausted, I can't.
I don't understand how so many of my friends can go through life and never have more than a headache or the flu... and every single time I turn around, it's something else.
I hate it. And I just want to feel better.
I don't feel like getting into all of it. So here's my Facebook status:
Sarah Mae Nelson is really frustrated that the doctor doesn't know why I am having pain and can't do a single thing to fix it.. which means I live with the pain until I can go have a nerve conduction study done.. which sounds horribly painful.. not to mention I don't have time to go to the hospital for one!!! Just what I want to do.. e...ither live with the pain or go get a ton of needles stuck in me and be shocked.. how wonderful. Ugh!
And on top of that.. the insurance company still won't give me the Provigil, and my doctor can't really do anything about it. So instead he's putting me on Ritalin... which is used to treat ADD and narcolepsy. Apparently it is a stimulant and will help me stay awake during the day. We'll see about that...
I'm just frustrated. My feet are killing me.. and I don't have time to go to the hospital and have this stupid test done. If I can find a time, I have to not eat or drink until the test, and I couldn't go til mid afternoon at least. Plus I will have to prepare for the test the day before, and I just don't have the energy!
I just want to scream and cry. But I'm so exhausted, I can't.
I don't understand how so many of my friends can go through life and never have more than a headache or the flu... and every single time I turn around, it's something else.
I hate it. And I just want to feel better.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Shopping trip
Yesterday was a very exhausting day, but fun. My mom and I headed to Sioux Falls around 1 to get clothes for student teaching. I needed to use the $350 voucher from Voc Rehab because it expires at the end of January.
We had a few things we needed to do and so we didn't end up getting there until about 2:30 or maybe even a little later... but it was good. We were there for about 3 hours shopping, trying on things, and whatnot. Crazy!
I had never been to the store before.. but when I walked in, I saw that there was not just one, but several (5 or so) racks that were 60% off! And that was 60% off with most being an already reduced price. So the first thing I did was grab something in the size I thought I was... and the size down... I went to try them on, and was very happy when I fit into the smaller size!! :) Woohoo! 111 lbs lost and down a couple of sizes! :)
So once I knew what size I was, I looked at all the stuff on the 60% off racks. There was so much cute stuff! I liked that stuff better than some that was not at all on sale and was the "new, in style" stuff. :) I loved how the store organized racks--it was by size... at places like Walmart, everything of the same type is thrown on one rack and it's sad to find something you love and then see that it's not available in your size. So that was neat to not have to deal with that at all. I found soooo many cute things! I had found a ton of shirts and only one pair of pants... and I knew I would need (or like to have) at least 5 pairs of pants so laundry wouldn't have to be done every single night! So we asked the lady working there if she could add up what we had so far, so I could see how much I had for pants. The vouches was for $350... I was sure that I was already over $250... I was very shocked when my mom told me that it was only $125!!!
So we quick finished looking at the 60% off racks and then moved on to pants. Obviously pants (that are not on sale) are pretty expensive... but I found two pairs that were $20 each (normally $36 each) and then found some that were about $45 but 25% off. I think I only paid full price for one thing--one pair of pants that were $48.
We kept adding to our total.. and she would say $80 left... $50 left... etc.. it was funny! It was SO HARD to use up $350! Only because of all the sales--otherwise it would have been very easy. I got 4 huge bags full of stuff--5 pairs of pants and 14 shirts. It's all very cute... and the best part is that I only had to pay $1.14 for it all!
The only problem is that she didn't know how to process the voucher. The manager had to do it.. so her solution was that they would ship the stuff out on Tuesday. Okay, but the problem is that I need to dress up on Wednesday and Thursday for seminars. So eventually my mom and I decided that we'd come back Monday to pick them up.
I had plans to meet with 3 friends in Sioux Falls on Monday. One of those friends I haven't seen in so long, so I was so excited! The problem is, my pain isn't any better. I don't feel safe driving an hour each way when the pain is this bad. It was bad enough to drive to Madison for school. (I realize I will have to do that Tuesday--I'm worried about that as well). So my mom said she'd drive me down... and while I'm hanging out, take a nap in the car or something... and then we could go get my clothes. If we did that, we'd want to leave here at 12 or 1 and get going early afternoon so we could get back. Well I just saw today on Facebook that one of the girls can't hang out til 3. So I don't think it's going to work out for me to hang out with them. I sent a message to Liz (the one I haven't seen in so long) explaining the situation.. and asking if there was any way her and I could get together earlier and just catch up one on one... because I don't think I can wait until 3. I haven't heard back from her yet, so we'll see.
I am really frustrated that my pain is still this bad. It's gotten worse since I've seen the doctor. He can't really figure out what it is... he said there is a slight possibility it may be a viral infection (which aren't treatable with antibiotics).. but he also said the blood work showed no infection. So I think he's just saying that's what it is because he can't figure out what it truly is.
The thing is.. the pain is so so so bad... the pain is bad... but the burning is the worst feeling I've ever felt in the world. It literally feels like I'm burning alive from the inside out. I wish I could have the people around me feel it for two minutes because nobody seems to understand how intense this is. Burning sensations are symptoms for a LOT of conditions. I just want to break down into tears and scream... because I hurt so bad and can't do anything to help. We (well, mostly my mom) fought so hard to get the Lyrica... and it helped the first two days.. and now it's not helping the pain AT ALL.. not even for 5 minutes. I don't know what to do. Will probably have to go back to the doctor this week, and dreading that... :(
School is going well so far. I have started on several projects for my class. I've finished a couple and have some that are more than half done. It's really interesting... most of the people in our class have learned this stuff in one of Dr. Geary's classes before. Since I've never had him, I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. I have to try to learn it all on my own... the days we aren't required to come to class, I may end up going since I may need his help. I don't mind driving--if I need help. I just don't want to go that far if I can do it from home.
I am so exhausted... still haven't made any progress on the Provigil (medicine to help me stay awake during the day). I had such a hard time last night staying awake and talking. After we got my clothes, we stopped by the mall really quick... and then we went to Applebees and had supper with Carla. It's bad when I can't even finish sentences I started... I was in a daze and exhausted. I also didn't really enjoy my food and hardly ate any... and paid the bill... so it was an expensive few bites for me. Was fun though... we were there for a few hours, and didn't get home til... 11 or so? I don't remember for sure what time it was... but it was late. Was a long and tiring day.
I am about ready to fall asleep right now. I'm going to attempt to read a bit, but I may crash and fall asleep. We'll see!
We had a few things we needed to do and so we didn't end up getting there until about 2:30 or maybe even a little later... but it was good. We were there for about 3 hours shopping, trying on things, and whatnot. Crazy!
I had never been to the store before.. but when I walked in, I saw that there was not just one, but several (5 or so) racks that were 60% off! And that was 60% off with most being an already reduced price. So the first thing I did was grab something in the size I thought I was... and the size down... I went to try them on, and was very happy when I fit into the smaller size!! :) Woohoo! 111 lbs lost and down a couple of sizes! :)
So once I knew what size I was, I looked at all the stuff on the 60% off racks. There was so much cute stuff! I liked that stuff better than some that was not at all on sale and was the "new, in style" stuff. :) I loved how the store organized racks--it was by size... at places like Walmart, everything of the same type is thrown on one rack and it's sad to find something you love and then see that it's not available in your size. So that was neat to not have to deal with that at all. I found soooo many cute things! I had found a ton of shirts and only one pair of pants... and I knew I would need (or like to have) at least 5 pairs of pants so laundry wouldn't have to be done every single night! So we asked the lady working there if she could add up what we had so far, so I could see how much I had for pants. The vouches was for $350... I was sure that I was already over $250... I was very shocked when my mom told me that it was only $125!!!
So we quick finished looking at the 60% off racks and then moved on to pants. Obviously pants (that are not on sale) are pretty expensive... but I found two pairs that were $20 each (normally $36 each) and then found some that were about $45 but 25% off. I think I only paid full price for one thing--one pair of pants that were $48.
We kept adding to our total.. and she would say $80 left... $50 left... etc.. it was funny! It was SO HARD to use up $350! Only because of all the sales--otherwise it would have been very easy. I got 4 huge bags full of stuff--5 pairs of pants and 14 shirts. It's all very cute... and the best part is that I only had to pay $1.14 for it all!
The only problem is that she didn't know how to process the voucher. The manager had to do it.. so her solution was that they would ship the stuff out on Tuesday. Okay, but the problem is that I need to dress up on Wednesday and Thursday for seminars. So eventually my mom and I decided that we'd come back Monday to pick them up.
I had plans to meet with 3 friends in Sioux Falls on Monday. One of those friends I haven't seen in so long, so I was so excited! The problem is, my pain isn't any better. I don't feel safe driving an hour each way when the pain is this bad. It was bad enough to drive to Madison for school. (I realize I will have to do that Tuesday--I'm worried about that as well). So my mom said she'd drive me down... and while I'm hanging out, take a nap in the car or something... and then we could go get my clothes. If we did that, we'd want to leave here at 12 or 1 and get going early afternoon so we could get back. Well I just saw today on Facebook that one of the girls can't hang out til 3. So I don't think it's going to work out for me to hang out with them. I sent a message to Liz (the one I haven't seen in so long) explaining the situation.. and asking if there was any way her and I could get together earlier and just catch up one on one... because I don't think I can wait until 3. I haven't heard back from her yet, so we'll see.
I am really frustrated that my pain is still this bad. It's gotten worse since I've seen the doctor. He can't really figure out what it is... he said there is a slight possibility it may be a viral infection (which aren't treatable with antibiotics).. but he also said the blood work showed no infection. So I think he's just saying that's what it is because he can't figure out what it truly is.
The thing is.. the pain is so so so bad... the pain is bad... but the burning is the worst feeling I've ever felt in the world. It literally feels like I'm burning alive from the inside out. I wish I could have the people around me feel it for two minutes because nobody seems to understand how intense this is. Burning sensations are symptoms for a LOT of conditions. I just want to break down into tears and scream... because I hurt so bad and can't do anything to help. We (well, mostly my mom) fought so hard to get the Lyrica... and it helped the first two days.. and now it's not helping the pain AT ALL.. not even for 5 minutes. I don't know what to do. Will probably have to go back to the doctor this week, and dreading that... :(
School is going well so far. I have started on several projects for my class. I've finished a couple and have some that are more than half done. It's really interesting... most of the people in our class have learned this stuff in one of Dr. Geary's classes before. Since I've never had him, I'm at a bit of a disadvantage. I have to try to learn it all on my own... the days we aren't required to come to class, I may end up going since I may need his help. I don't mind driving--if I need help. I just don't want to go that far if I can do it from home.
I am so exhausted... still haven't made any progress on the Provigil (medicine to help me stay awake during the day). I had such a hard time last night staying awake and talking. After we got my clothes, we stopped by the mall really quick... and then we went to Applebees and had supper with Carla. It's bad when I can't even finish sentences I started... I was in a daze and exhausted. I also didn't really enjoy my food and hardly ate any... and paid the bill... so it was an expensive few bites for me. Was fun though... we were there for a few hours, and didn't get home til... 11 or so? I don't remember for sure what time it was... but it was late. Was a long and tiring day.
I am about ready to fall asleep right now. I'm going to attempt to read a bit, but I may crash and fall asleep. We'll see!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
What a long day!
What.A.Day. Oh my. I'm so stinkin exhausted.
Went to bed around 10.. fell asleep fairly quickly--I was pretty tired.
Woke up at 5:30... took me awhile to drag myself out of bed... did NOT want to get up that early. I showered and got ready to go. Was out the door by 6:45.
It was SO foggy this morning... pitch black and so foggy.. I went a little slower than 75 mph... and I was scanning like crazy... looking for animals and other cars.. it was even hard to see cars that were a bit in front of me with their lights on... kinda scary. I ended up getting to Madison around 7:30. Class didn't start til 8, so I just kind of stood around in the hall looking silly... haha
Class was alright. There are certain days that we don't have to go... we have to go tomorrow and Tuesday... and then we are free to stop coming if we are confident we can do the work--it's kind of a self-paced class.
So to get an A in the class, you have to get 555 points. The teacher has all kinds of assignments at different point values. Easy ones are 10... there are also 25, 50, 75, and 100 pt assignments. So I am going to do a couple of the easy ones on my own. A lot of the assignments require websites or software that I am not familiar with. 99% of the people in the class have had a class with Dr. Geary before and have used these programs/websites. Unfortunately, I haven't... so I'm a bit behind on that. But I will learn them... on my own or with his help. I will just keep working away until I have about 620 points (in case I have some assignments where I get, say, 23/25... I want to be sure to have 555 total...).
I'm quite excited about it.. I love classes where you can work at your own pace and choose what you want to do! I just wish I was more familiar with this stuff, because it is a bit intimidating.
My friend Sam is in that class (Samantha), and we decided to do a video... one of the assignments.. it's 100 points. We started working on it right away, and have several minutes of film. We will (hopefully) finish filming tomorrow after class. Then we'll edit it, probably next week. It has to be 30-100 seconds... we decided to do the assignment advertising DSU... promoting it and telling people why they should come there. It's the only assignment that really requires partners or a group, so after we are done editing, I will do the rest of the class alone.
I went and sat in the TC with my friends while they ate lunch. They ate chicken strips and burgers and pasta and pizza and fries and it all looked and smelled SO good. I ate about 1/5th of an apple... booo! I am SO hungry now... and can't wait til we cook supper. It's 7 pm already... we'll start cooking in just a few minutes.
I sat in the TC (Trojan Center, like a student union) until 2:20 and then walked to the Kennedy Center (KC--the education building where I spend most of my time) for my meeting. I met the lady who will be coming in to supervise me and watch me teach... she is SO SO SO nice. I've been blessed with an awesome teacher and an awesome supervisor. I can't wait! She has taught for 25 years (now just subs) and so I am looking forward to her feedback. I want her to tell me how I can improve! :)
Then we had our seminar. We went through the student teaching handbook and some general rules for teaching. I think it's sad when the person leading the seminar has to go over rules such as "follow the school rules", "don't let your boobs or butt hang out" (the B&B rule, as she called it), and "make sure you get your stuff handed in on time". Seriously? We're graduating in a few months... I don't think we should have to have those reminders. She said though that each semester there are peple she has to get after, so she has to keep telling us those things. I think it's ridiculous! (on the students' part.. I'm not calling her rediculous).
After the seminar, I ran to the bookstore to buy the one book that is required. I got the last one, and there are a lot of people who don't have it yet--hope the bookstore can get more in.
There is a woman named Patti who works at the bookstore. She has been SO helpful since I started at DSU. Voc Rehab pays for my tuition and fees... and books (except this summer and this semester). So it's not an easy process to get books. She's carried books out to my car in the snow so I didn't have to lift the heavy bags. She's talked on the phone with Voc Rehab to straighten things out. She's done the paperwork. She is just awesome. Well today I walked in and she was on the phone, but said "I'll be right with you!". I went and grabbed my book and paid, and went and stood somewhat close to her desk. She asked why I paid for my book and I explained what changed with Voc Rehab. She said "I haven't seen you in a long time!". I suppose she expected me this fall, and I never showed up. I told her that I had surgery, and she looked worried and asked if everything was okay. I said "yeah, I had gastric bypass surgery and have lost 109 lbs". Her jaw dropped and she came running around her desk and gave me a big hug. As we pulled away, she grabbed my chin, looked me in the eye, and said "You are beautiful". It was so touching. It's nice to hear "you look great!" from my mom and my friends... don't get my wrong... it's a nice compliment from anyone. But for someone who I see for about 20 minutes a semester... to be so kind and loving... it really touched me.
I decided at that point, that I was going to write some letters tonight. I am going to write a note/letter to Patti, thanking her for all she has done for me. I'm going to write a letter to Dr. Pauli for the same reason--thanking her. I'm also going to write a letter to Billie (the secretary in the college of education)--she's been great too. I just want to let them know (in words that will last forever instead of an e-mail or spoken words that can never be heard again) how much I appreciate them. :) I'm excited to work on that.
So after I left the bookstore, I headed home. I called my mom and we talked all the way home.. which is good because I was exhausted.
I got to Brookings and ran to Walmart quick. A friend of mine saw my planner and said she wanted one like it. She lives in a town between Brookings and Sioux Falls, but has 4 kids and doesn't make it to either town often. I was so happy to be able to do that for her. I got her the same kind I have... it's a fun tropical theme and really beautiful. My cover is teal--I got her the green. :)
I also got two Zhu Zhu hamsters for my great aunt's granddaughter Laci... she's the one we searched and searched for before... now, of course, the stores have them in stock because it's after Christmas. I bought the white one and the gray and white one... we'll send them to her and she'll pay us back. (We didn't just assume--my mom called her and asked and she told me what to buy.)
I got a few other things at Walmart and headed home. Now it's 7:33, and I just finished supper. I took a break to go eat... I ate one too many, and felt quite sick for a few minutes... but my stomach is finally starting to settle. It was good, anyway. I was hungry!
Tonight I am going to work on those letters... and maybe a few more letters for some friends that I will see tomorrow. Then I will probably try to either do a little homework, or read my book a bit. We'll see... I'm quite tired. Since it's already 7:34, who knows. I am getting up at 5:35 again tomorrow, so I need to get into bed early tonight. My legs are really sore, so I am going to go get some heat on them and try to be productive until I can take my medicine and head to bed!
Went to bed around 10.. fell asleep fairly quickly--I was pretty tired.
Woke up at 5:30... took me awhile to drag myself out of bed... did NOT want to get up that early. I showered and got ready to go. Was out the door by 6:45.
It was SO foggy this morning... pitch black and so foggy.. I went a little slower than 75 mph... and I was scanning like crazy... looking for animals and other cars.. it was even hard to see cars that were a bit in front of me with their lights on... kinda scary. I ended up getting to Madison around 7:30. Class didn't start til 8, so I just kind of stood around in the hall looking silly... haha
Class was alright. There are certain days that we don't have to go... we have to go tomorrow and Tuesday... and then we are free to stop coming if we are confident we can do the work--it's kind of a self-paced class.
So to get an A in the class, you have to get 555 points. The teacher has all kinds of assignments at different point values. Easy ones are 10... there are also 25, 50, 75, and 100 pt assignments. So I am going to do a couple of the easy ones on my own. A lot of the assignments require websites or software that I am not familiar with. 99% of the people in the class have had a class with Dr. Geary before and have used these programs/websites. Unfortunately, I haven't... so I'm a bit behind on that. But I will learn them... on my own or with his help. I will just keep working away until I have about 620 points (in case I have some assignments where I get, say, 23/25... I want to be sure to have 555 total...).
I'm quite excited about it.. I love classes where you can work at your own pace and choose what you want to do! I just wish I was more familiar with this stuff, because it is a bit intimidating.
My friend Sam is in that class (Samantha), and we decided to do a video... one of the assignments.. it's 100 points. We started working on it right away, and have several minutes of film. We will (hopefully) finish filming tomorrow after class. Then we'll edit it, probably next week. It has to be 30-100 seconds... we decided to do the assignment advertising DSU... promoting it and telling people why they should come there. It's the only assignment that really requires partners or a group, so after we are done editing, I will do the rest of the class alone.
I went and sat in the TC with my friends while they ate lunch. They ate chicken strips and burgers and pasta and pizza and fries and it all looked and smelled SO good. I ate about 1/5th of an apple... booo! I am SO hungry now... and can't wait til we cook supper. It's 7 pm already... we'll start cooking in just a few minutes.
I sat in the TC (Trojan Center, like a student union) until 2:20 and then walked to the Kennedy Center (KC--the education building where I spend most of my time) for my meeting. I met the lady who will be coming in to supervise me and watch me teach... she is SO SO SO nice. I've been blessed with an awesome teacher and an awesome supervisor. I can't wait! She has taught for 25 years (now just subs) and so I am looking forward to her feedback. I want her to tell me how I can improve! :)
Then we had our seminar. We went through the student teaching handbook and some general rules for teaching. I think it's sad when the person leading the seminar has to go over rules such as "follow the school rules", "don't let your boobs or butt hang out" (the B&B rule, as she called it), and "make sure you get your stuff handed in on time". Seriously? We're graduating in a few months... I don't think we should have to have those reminders. She said though that each semester there are peple she has to get after, so she has to keep telling us those things. I think it's ridiculous! (on the students' part.. I'm not calling her rediculous).
After the seminar, I ran to the bookstore to buy the one book that is required. I got the last one, and there are a lot of people who don't have it yet--hope the bookstore can get more in.
There is a woman named Patti who works at the bookstore. She has been SO helpful since I started at DSU. Voc Rehab pays for my tuition and fees... and books (except this summer and this semester). So it's not an easy process to get books. She's carried books out to my car in the snow so I didn't have to lift the heavy bags. She's talked on the phone with Voc Rehab to straighten things out. She's done the paperwork. She is just awesome. Well today I walked in and she was on the phone, but said "I'll be right with you!". I went and grabbed my book and paid, and went and stood somewhat close to her desk. She asked why I paid for my book and I explained what changed with Voc Rehab. She said "I haven't seen you in a long time!". I suppose she expected me this fall, and I never showed up. I told her that I had surgery, and she looked worried and asked if everything was okay. I said "yeah, I had gastric bypass surgery and have lost 109 lbs". Her jaw dropped and she came running around her desk and gave me a big hug. As we pulled away, she grabbed my chin, looked me in the eye, and said "You are beautiful". It was so touching. It's nice to hear "you look great!" from my mom and my friends... don't get my wrong... it's a nice compliment from anyone. But for someone who I see for about 20 minutes a semester... to be so kind and loving... it really touched me.
I decided at that point, that I was going to write some letters tonight. I am going to write a note/letter to Patti, thanking her for all she has done for me. I'm going to write a letter to Dr. Pauli for the same reason--thanking her. I'm also going to write a letter to Billie (the secretary in the college of education)--she's been great too. I just want to let them know (in words that will last forever instead of an e-mail or spoken words that can never be heard again) how much I appreciate them. :) I'm excited to work on that.
So after I left the bookstore, I headed home. I called my mom and we talked all the way home.. which is good because I was exhausted.
I got to Brookings and ran to Walmart quick. A friend of mine saw my planner and said she wanted one like it. She lives in a town between Brookings and Sioux Falls, but has 4 kids and doesn't make it to either town often. I was so happy to be able to do that for her. I got her the same kind I have... it's a fun tropical theme and really beautiful. My cover is teal--I got her the green. :)
I also got two Zhu Zhu hamsters for my great aunt's granddaughter Laci... she's the one we searched and searched for before... now, of course, the stores have them in stock because it's after Christmas. I bought the white one and the gray and white one... we'll send them to her and she'll pay us back. (We didn't just assume--my mom called her and asked and she told me what to buy.)
I got a few other things at Walmart and headed home. Now it's 7:33, and I just finished supper. I took a break to go eat... I ate one too many, and felt quite sick for a few minutes... but my stomach is finally starting to settle. It was good, anyway. I was hungry!
Tonight I am going to work on those letters... and maybe a few more letters for some friends that I will see tomorrow. Then I will probably try to either do a little homework, or read my book a bit. We'll see... I'm quite tired. Since it's already 7:34, who knows. I am getting up at 5:35 again tomorrow, so I need to get into bed early tonight. My legs are really sore, so I am going to go get some heat on them and try to be productive until I can take my medicine and head to bed!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
School starts tomorrow!
It's 8:15. I woke up at 7. I should still be sleeping peacefully... waking up at 10 or 11... haha... WAKE UP! BACK TO THE REAL WORLD! Ugh... I don't like the real world.
I've been going to bed earlier at night, which has helped. I've been in bed between 10 and 11 the last few nights, because I need my mom's help to get the heating pad on my feet and to get covered up.
The past two days I've woken up at 7 when my mom comes to bring me water. It is essential after surgery to keep hydrated, and I am SO thirsty by about 3 am because I haven't had any water for hours. I set my alarm for 7:30, but it didn't go off this morning. That's not good--I'll have to set my phone alarm as well since my iPod alarm didn't work today.
Tomorrow I have to get up at 5 am. I have to leave here by 6:45. NOT looking forward to that. I have class from 8-10, lunch plans at 12, meeting at 2:30, pictures at 2:50, and seminar from 3-5. Then I have to drive home. Wow.
Yesterday we finally got the Lyrica (pain medicine). We had to fight the insurance company, but my mom finally was able to get somewhere and get some. Here's the problem. The prescription says "take 3 times a day for pain". Great. So a one month's supply... 30 days x 3 times a day = 90 pills. Not so hard... except they only gave me 42 pills! Um... what? That's not even a 15 day supply! UGH! I think my mom is going to wait until my doctor is back on Monday to deal with it... I know it sounds like I'm complaining... it IS frustrating. But, I am thankful we got what we did so I can at least get some relief. The medicine helps for a couple of hours. I took it yesterday at noon and it helped for about 4 hours... then the pain started coming back. So at least I can get some relief... but I do have to pick and choose when I want the relief, since it doesn't help for a full 6 hours.
I won't get the other results until my doctor comes back next week. He's testing for rheumatoid arthritis and some other things. I am praying that I don't have RA or something else... because that's an autoimmune disease.. and your body is basically attacking itself. I DON'T want to have to deal with that. I do, however, want to know what is causing this and how it can be fixed. So we'll see what the results say.
Yesterday I went to meet my cooperating teacher, Mrs. McMacken. She is SO wonderful. She's nice, and we seem to have a lot of the same teaching styles. She seems like a woman who will be encouraging and helpful, especially in the tough times! I am so looking forward to working with her this semester. The class is awesome too. There are 19 students, and not a single one leaves the classroom for speech or special education. That's rare. In the last classroom I was in, there were always kids coming or going. It's a bit hard to keep track of everything when they are always walking out of the room! So these 19 kids are in the classroom all day! Perfect! She said there are two kids that like to act out a bit, but in general, the kids are very well behaved. Sounds great to me!
As I woke up this morning, I realized something awful. This summer, I was filling out my financial aid packet things. I accepted all the help for fall. I circled "d" (decline) for everything for spring and wrote that I would be graduating in December.
Oops. That didn't happen... and now I have absolutely no financial aid! That's not good at all! I e-mailed Melinda (the woman I've been working with since I went to DSU) and explained. I asked if there's any way I could get some financial aid still.
She said that this is the busiest time for them (of course--they are getting the aid to students and dealing with getting payments and such), but she would work on it. So, it sounds like she can work it out--but it may take awhile. That's fine with me... as long as I get it sometime. I do need to pay my bills!
Today is my last day of 'freedom'. I have quite a bit I want to do today.
* switch dressers with my mom
* fill out my forms for student teaching (that I turn in tomorrow)
* pack my bookbag with all my paperwork
* decide what to wear tomorrow (we take our student teaching pictures tomorrow and must dress up)
* charge my camera
* tidy up my room
* finish the book I started this morning (308 pages to go)
* get to bed early!!! =)
We'll see if I can get it all done!
I think I'll be going to Sioux Falls this weekend to get clothes. I'm excited for that. ALL my pants are too big... though I can still wear 3 pair. They are huge on my legs, and I am stepping on the bottoms of them. I definitely need some new clothes. I just hope I can make it there and get the pain to stop long enough to go shopping.
I'm going to get something to drink and sit down and read my book! :) Things are going pretty well, and I will probably be updating again soon. School starts tomorrow--pray for strength to get through tomorrow! I'm a bit worried about how I will do 13 or more hours (plus homework... and including 2 hours of driving) without anything to help me stay awake!
I've been going to bed earlier at night, which has helped. I've been in bed between 10 and 11 the last few nights, because I need my mom's help to get the heating pad on my feet and to get covered up.
The past two days I've woken up at 7 when my mom comes to bring me water. It is essential after surgery to keep hydrated, and I am SO thirsty by about 3 am because I haven't had any water for hours. I set my alarm for 7:30, but it didn't go off this morning. That's not good--I'll have to set my phone alarm as well since my iPod alarm didn't work today.
Tomorrow I have to get up at 5 am. I have to leave here by 6:45. NOT looking forward to that. I have class from 8-10, lunch plans at 12, meeting at 2:30, pictures at 2:50, and seminar from 3-5. Then I have to drive home. Wow.
Yesterday we finally got the Lyrica (pain medicine). We had to fight the insurance company, but my mom finally was able to get somewhere and get some. Here's the problem. The prescription says "take 3 times a day for pain". Great. So a one month's supply... 30 days x 3 times a day = 90 pills. Not so hard... except they only gave me 42 pills! Um... what? That's not even a 15 day supply! UGH! I think my mom is going to wait until my doctor is back on Monday to deal with it... I know it sounds like I'm complaining... it IS frustrating. But, I am thankful we got what we did so I can at least get some relief. The medicine helps for a couple of hours. I took it yesterday at noon and it helped for about 4 hours... then the pain started coming back. So at least I can get some relief... but I do have to pick and choose when I want the relief, since it doesn't help for a full 6 hours.
I won't get the other results until my doctor comes back next week. He's testing for rheumatoid arthritis and some other things. I am praying that I don't have RA or something else... because that's an autoimmune disease.. and your body is basically attacking itself. I DON'T want to have to deal with that. I do, however, want to know what is causing this and how it can be fixed. So we'll see what the results say.
Yesterday I went to meet my cooperating teacher, Mrs. McMacken. She is SO wonderful. She's nice, and we seem to have a lot of the same teaching styles. She seems like a woman who will be encouraging and helpful, especially in the tough times! I am so looking forward to working with her this semester. The class is awesome too. There are 19 students, and not a single one leaves the classroom for speech or special education. That's rare. In the last classroom I was in, there were always kids coming or going. It's a bit hard to keep track of everything when they are always walking out of the room! So these 19 kids are in the classroom all day! Perfect! She said there are two kids that like to act out a bit, but in general, the kids are very well behaved. Sounds great to me!
As I woke up this morning, I realized something awful. This summer, I was filling out my financial aid packet things. I accepted all the help for fall. I circled "d" (decline) for everything for spring and wrote that I would be graduating in December.
Oops. That didn't happen... and now I have absolutely no financial aid! That's not good at all! I e-mailed Melinda (the woman I've been working with since I went to DSU) and explained. I asked if there's any way I could get some financial aid still.
She said that this is the busiest time for them (of course--they are getting the aid to students and dealing with getting payments and such), but she would work on it. So, it sounds like she can work it out--but it may take awhile. That's fine with me... as long as I get it sometime. I do need to pay my bills!
Today is my last day of 'freedom'. I have quite a bit I want to do today.
* switch dressers with my mom
* fill out my forms for student teaching (that I turn in tomorrow)
* pack my bookbag with all my paperwork
* decide what to wear tomorrow (we take our student teaching pictures tomorrow and must dress up)
* charge my camera
* tidy up my room
* finish the book I started this morning (308 pages to go)
* get to bed early!!! =)
We'll see if I can get it all done!
I think I'll be going to Sioux Falls this weekend to get clothes. I'm excited for that. ALL my pants are too big... though I can still wear 3 pair. They are huge on my legs, and I am stepping on the bottoms of them. I definitely need some new clothes. I just hope I can make it there and get the pain to stop long enough to go shopping.
I'm going to get something to drink and sit down and read my book! :) Things are going pretty well, and I will probably be updating again soon. School starts tomorrow--pray for strength to get through tomorrow! I'm a bit worried about how I will do 13 or more hours (plus homework... and including 2 hours of driving) without anything to help me stay awake!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Went to the doctor...
Thankfully, I was able to get into my doctor today. This is the only day he is here this week (at least I'm pretty sure that's what his nurse said), so I'm thankful they could squeeze me in.
I talked to him about the sleep problem. The medicine he gave me, even doubled to 50 mg, isn't helping. I'm still waking up exhausted. I can't function this way once classes and teaching start. So I'm going off the Amitriptyline and starting Provigil. That's what I used last time I had this problem. Amitriptyline helps regulate sleep cycles. Provigil doesn't help straighten out your sleeping problems... it basically just keeps you awake during the day. The website says:
"PROVIGIL is a prescription medicine used to improve wakefulness in adults who experience excessive sleepiness (ES) due to one of the following diagnosed sleep disorders: obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), shift work sleep disorder, also known as shift work disorder, or narcolepsy."
I don't have any of those sleep disorders, but I do have some other kind of sleep problem. Hopefully tomorrow morning I will take it and start noticing a difference.
He pushed on my legs and my back and neck. He wanted to make sure the pain wasn't from a physical injury, like falling on ice. He checked my back and neck to see if I had a pinched nerve. Nothing hurt, so he ruled those things out.
I had to get blood work done (and only had to get poked by 2 needles! they found my blood on the second try! yippee!). He is testing to see if my electrolytes are normal or if I have some kind of infection. He also tested for arthritis. That's what was tested last year when I had this problem--tested for infections and autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis. I hope it's just an infection, since that's an easy fix and a short term problem. I am praying it's not a more serious problem.
It's 11:30 and I have no plans for the rest of the day. I am hoping to finish my book and start on the next one. I'm on book 11 of 100. This one is over 350 pages, so it's taking awhile. I'm on page 94 right now. I'm going to go read for a bit before my mom comes home for lunch. I'll update again when I hear back from my doctor.
I talked to him about the sleep problem. The medicine he gave me, even doubled to 50 mg, isn't helping. I'm still waking up exhausted. I can't function this way once classes and teaching start. So I'm going off the Amitriptyline and starting Provigil. That's what I used last time I had this problem. Amitriptyline helps regulate sleep cycles. Provigil doesn't help straighten out your sleeping problems... it basically just keeps you awake during the day. The website says:
"PROVIGIL is a prescription medicine used to improve wakefulness in adults who experience excessive sleepiness (ES) due to one of the following diagnosed sleep disorders: obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), shift work sleep disorder, also known as shift work disorder, or narcolepsy."
I don't have any of those sleep disorders, but I do have some other kind of sleep problem. Hopefully tomorrow morning I will take it and start noticing a difference.
He pushed on my legs and my back and neck. He wanted to make sure the pain wasn't from a physical injury, like falling on ice. He checked my back and neck to see if I had a pinched nerve. Nothing hurt, so he ruled those things out.
I had to get blood work done (and only had to get poked by 2 needles! they found my blood on the second try! yippee!). He is testing to see if my electrolytes are normal or if I have some kind of infection. He also tested for arthritis. That's what was tested last year when I had this problem--tested for infections and autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis. I hope it's just an infection, since that's an easy fix and a short term problem. I am praying it's not a more serious problem.
It's 11:30 and I have no plans for the rest of the day. I am hoping to finish my book and start on the next one. I'm on book 11 of 100. This one is over 350 pages, so it's taking awhile. I'm on page 94 right now. I'm going to go read for a bit before my mom comes home for lunch. I'll update again when I hear back from my doctor.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Burning from the inside out
This pain is SO horrible. It's a combination of achy pain all over my feet and legs (especially in my ankles and toes... and sometimes in my arms and hands, but not as bad there) and this horrible burning sensation--it feels like the inside of me is burning away. Not a fun feeling... and quite scary.
I finished the book I started reading last night... and started another one. I only got 38 pages in before I rolled over and fell asleep! I did NOT want to take a nap today... because now I'll have issues sleeping tonight. Ugh! It did feel good though.
Apparently after weeks of -20 degree weather, it's over 25 degrees outside. That's like a 45 degree jump in a day or two. I'd LOVE to go outside and go for a walk and enjoy the nice weather... but I'm in way too much pain. The burning is driving me crazy.
I will probably read my book again later, but I have over 300 pages to read to finish it, so I probably won't get it done until tomorrow. Unless of course I'm up late from my stupid nap--we'll see. I have one more book by the same author, and then two other books. I am excited to start with the other two authors and see if I like them.
I need to find some good books that I can find at my local library. They don't have much of Karen Kingsbury or Francine Rivers (the only Christian authors I have read so far, for fiction books). I will have to get some suggestions from people and try to find some light hearted or good books.
Right now I'm going to drink some water (I had a little paper cup of juice this morning but that's all I've had all day--I'm thirsty) and check my e-mail and Facebook. Then maybe I'll read again for a bit, if I can keep this pain under control.
I finished the book I started reading last night... and started another one. I only got 38 pages in before I rolled over and fell asleep! I did NOT want to take a nap today... because now I'll have issues sleeping tonight. Ugh! It did feel good though.
Apparently after weeks of -20 degree weather, it's over 25 degrees outside. That's like a 45 degree jump in a day or two. I'd LOVE to go outside and go for a walk and enjoy the nice weather... but I'm in way too much pain. The burning is driving me crazy.
I will probably read my book again later, but I have over 300 pages to read to finish it, so I probably won't get it done until tomorrow. Unless of course I'm up late from my stupid nap--we'll see. I have one more book by the same author, and then two other books. I am excited to start with the other two authors and see if I like them.
I need to find some good books that I can find at my local library. They don't have much of Karen Kingsbury or Francine Rivers (the only Christian authors I have read so far, for fiction books). I will have to get some suggestions from people and try to find some light hearted or good books.
Right now I'm going to drink some water (I had a little paper cup of juice this morning but that's all I've had all day--I'm thirsty) and check my e-mail and Facebook. Then maybe I'll read again for a bit, if I can keep this pain under control.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
2095 pages
Today has been a pretty good day. I am achy all over, especially my legs (and my back), but other than that it's been good.
I woke up and read for an hour and a half--love being able to do that.
Then I had lunch with my mom, though I was crabby and ended up upsetting her. (Sorry mom! I love you... thanks for taking the time to make me lunch... I don't know what I'd do without you!)
Once we were on speaking terms again, the day was much better. We went to the library and I got 5 books to read. I can't wait to read them!
Then we went to Walmart. I had a few things I needed to get for student teaching, like a 2010 planner and some pens. I ended up getting more than I had planned, but that always happens at walmart!
One thing I treated myself to was book 5 in the series I loved so much. I JUST finished reading it--what an amazing series. Turns out this series goes right into another series... this was the redemption series. The story continues with this family in the firstborn series--so I will be looking out for those next!
I wanted to read book 5 before I started my library books. I read over 500 pages today... love love love it! :)
I am now going to start Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. I've heard that this is a very good book... not a Christian fiction book, but heard it's good. :) Looking forward to starting it tonight after I eat some supper.
On Tuesday, I am going to go meet the teacher I will be student teaching with. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. She seems very nice, so that helps. Thursday starts classes and my crazy schedule. The FIRST day I have to be there from 8 am (which means leaving at 6:45 am and waking up at 5 am) until 5 pm (getting home at 6 pm). I am going to be exhausted that day. May even need some pain medicine! But the next morning it's back up at 5 am to get there again for class at 8. I am not sure how this is going to go with my body, especially with these aches I'm having! Ugh! Not looking forward to it all!
Well I'm going to go eat some supper (at almost 10 pm haha) and then start my 10th book. I am doing a challenge to read 100 books in 2010 and I've read 9 books so far--2095 pages! Yippee! :) Almost 1/10th of the way done already. One book per day!
I woke up and read for an hour and a half--love being able to do that.
Then I had lunch with my mom, though I was crabby and ended up upsetting her. (Sorry mom! I love you... thanks for taking the time to make me lunch... I don't know what I'd do without you!)
Once we were on speaking terms again, the day was much better. We went to the library and I got 5 books to read. I can't wait to read them!
Then we went to Walmart. I had a few things I needed to get for student teaching, like a 2010 planner and some pens. I ended up getting more than I had planned, but that always happens at walmart!
One thing I treated myself to was book 5 in the series I loved so much. I JUST finished reading it--what an amazing series. Turns out this series goes right into another series... this was the redemption series. The story continues with this family in the firstborn series--so I will be looking out for those next!
I wanted to read book 5 before I started my library books. I read over 500 pages today... love love love it! :)
I am now going to start Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. I've heard that this is a very good book... not a Christian fiction book, but heard it's good. :) Looking forward to starting it tonight after I eat some supper.
On Tuesday, I am going to go meet the teacher I will be student teaching with. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. She seems very nice, so that helps. Thursday starts classes and my crazy schedule. The FIRST day I have to be there from 8 am (which means leaving at 6:45 am and waking up at 5 am) until 5 pm (getting home at 6 pm). I am going to be exhausted that day. May even need some pain medicine! But the next morning it's back up at 5 am to get there again for class at 8. I am not sure how this is going to go with my body, especially with these aches I'm having! Ugh! Not looking forward to it all!
Well I'm going to go eat some supper (at almost 10 pm haha) and then start my 10th book. I am doing a challenge to read 100 books in 2010 and I've read 9 books so far--2095 pages! Yippee! :) Almost 1/10th of the way done already. One book per day!
Friday, January 8, 2010
A little better...
Well, today had gotten a bit better since my last entry. I was so frustrated when I wrote it.
I finally got my iPod all figured out. I'm thankful for that.
The pain that was in my foot and ankle has now spread into my legs and knees, and has started in my right leg. The aches and burning sensation are almost impossible to ignore--it hurts SO badly. I had something similar happen last year sometime. I started having bad pain all over my body, particularly in my joints. My hands, feet, and legs were the worst. I was tested for autoimmune diseases, and thankfully that was not it. It turned out to be some weird infection. So, if my pain doesn't go away over the weekend, I will be going into the doctor to see what's going on.
Until then.... argh! It's hard to focus with this pain. I'm grumpy and just want to sleep because everything hurts so badly!
I am reading the final book (book 7) in the Chronicles of Narnia series. I am about halfway done... I hope to finish it tonight. Then I'll start on book 8. I'd love to get 10 of my 100 books done by Thursday when I start school. We'll see! :)
I finally got my iPod all figured out. I'm thankful for that.
The pain that was in my foot and ankle has now spread into my legs and knees, and has started in my right leg. The aches and burning sensation are almost impossible to ignore--it hurts SO badly. I had something similar happen last year sometime. I started having bad pain all over my body, particularly in my joints. My hands, feet, and legs were the worst. I was tested for autoimmune diseases, and thankfully that was not it. It turned out to be some weird infection. So, if my pain doesn't go away over the weekend, I will be going into the doctor to see what's going on.
Until then.... argh! It's hard to focus with this pain. I'm grumpy and just want to sleep because everything hurts so badly!
I am reading the final book (book 7) in the Chronicles of Narnia series. I am about halfway done... I hope to finish it tonight. Then I'll start on book 8. I'd love to get 10 of my 100 books done by Thursday when I start school. We'll see! :)
Frustrated
Some people were able to get to my portfolio just fine, and others couldn't. Here's another way to get to it. Go to:
http://www.students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458
and click the first link to get to my portfolio. I've been told it works, though, so you don't have to--but if you want to look at it, there you go.
I am so frustrated. I looked on my iPod last night and what I did yesterday didn't work! I spent 2 hours trying to get that music on there! How frustrating. I'm going to try one more time--this afternoon. Ugh! I wish I would have known it didn't work.. I could have saved the folder I was working in. I deleted it so now I have to start from the beginning.
I had such a hard time waking up this morning. I woke up at 8 because Bailey was playing with something under my door. Then I woke up at 9... and then I tossed and turned and fell in and out of sleep until about 10:45 when I finally got up. This medicine isn't doing a whole lot for me, and I'm still waking up very tired. Next week will be interesting... I hope I'm able to wake myself up. Ugh!!
Yesterday I had a bad day. I was in a lot of pain (still am.. grr). And I had a conversation with someone that just drove me crazy. I wanted to grab the person and shake them and say "GROW UP ALREADY! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE!"... but I couldn't do that. I just wish people would be honest and sincere... but they aren't always. Some people can take something so good and turn it into something horrible.
I have weird pain in my left foot/ankle. It started last night... it's a burning type pain. It feels like I sprained something, but it's in the very middle of my foot. I don't recall twisting my foot or hurting it... but the pain is pretty bad. I am not sure how to make the pain go away either--it's in such a strange spot. Any ideas?
I'm going to go finish checking my e-mails. Soon my mom will be home for lunch and then I'm going to try to fix my iPod again. I hope everyone is having a great day... it's Friday! Woohoo! :)
http://www.students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458
and click the first link to get to my portfolio. I've been told it works, though, so you don't have to--but if you want to look at it, there you go.
I am so frustrated. I looked on my iPod last night and what I did yesterday didn't work! I spent 2 hours trying to get that music on there! How frustrating. I'm going to try one more time--this afternoon. Ugh! I wish I would have known it didn't work.. I could have saved the folder I was working in. I deleted it so now I have to start from the beginning.
I had such a hard time waking up this morning. I woke up at 8 because Bailey was playing with something under my door. Then I woke up at 9... and then I tossed and turned and fell in and out of sleep until about 10:45 when I finally got up. This medicine isn't doing a whole lot for me, and I'm still waking up very tired. Next week will be interesting... I hope I'm able to wake myself up. Ugh!!
Yesterday I had a bad day. I was in a lot of pain (still am.. grr). And I had a conversation with someone that just drove me crazy. I wanted to grab the person and shake them and say "GROW UP ALREADY! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE!"... but I couldn't do that. I just wish people would be honest and sincere... but they aren't always. Some people can take something so good and turn it into something horrible.
I have weird pain in my left foot/ankle. It started last night... it's a burning type pain. It feels like I sprained something, but it's in the very middle of my foot. I don't recall twisting my foot or hurting it... but the pain is pretty bad. I am not sure how to make the pain go away either--it's in such a strange spot. Any ideas?
I'm going to go finish checking my e-mails. Soon my mom will be home for lunch and then I'm going to try to fix my iPod again. I hope everyone is having a great day... it's Friday! Woohoo! :)
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Freezing
It is SOOO cold outside! -38 wind chill... I hear from others that it's icy on the streets. (I haven't braved it and gone out yet.)
I've had horrible pain the last few days. Can't get any relief, even from the heating pad. I have considered taking pain medicine, but it makes me so drowsy and makes me feel a bit sick--I'm not sure it's worth it.
I am working on reading book 6 of 100 in my challenge. I'm surprised that I've been able to pretty much read a book a day. I have several more books to read, but eventually will need to either buy some, or go to the library!
Today I got some things ready for student teaching. I updated my portfolio--I had to put my management plan on there. You can see my portfolio at:
http://www.students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458/Portfolio/template.htm
=)
If anyone out there actually looks at it, can you tell me if my management plan is up? It works for me, but I'd like to make sure it works for someone else. It should have about 5 or 6 sections... with a picture of a classroom set up and a table (behavior matrix) and lots of words about policies and things like that.
I can't believe that in less than a week, school will be in session! The first day is going to be the longest. I will have to be there from 8 am (which means I have to leave here by 6:45 am) until 5 pm at least (which means I'll get home around 6 pm). Have to dress up that day as well. Yuck. Hopefully I'll get money from school this semester, or I won't have any money for gas to drive to Madison every single day for two weeks!
Today I also took my music off of my external hard drive and put it on my laptop... (copied it.. so it's still on my EHD). Then I put a bunch of music on my iPod that was on my computer but not on my iPod--things like all the music my brother gave me and old music I have found recently. My iPod should be pretty up to date now, though I have found several CDs (Casting Crowns, Bethany Dillion, etc) that I do not have on my iPod.. so eventually I will need to put them all on my computer so I can put them on my iPod. :)
I'm still waiting to hear from both schools about grad school. I suppose they are still on break... I wish they would hurry up and answer me! I am worried that I won't have any time to study for the GRE... scary.
Alright I'm going to go read a little bit. I'm so tired right now. I'm hoping that I'll make it to bed early tonight!
I've had horrible pain the last few days. Can't get any relief, even from the heating pad. I have considered taking pain medicine, but it makes me so drowsy and makes me feel a bit sick--I'm not sure it's worth it.
I am working on reading book 6 of 100 in my challenge. I'm surprised that I've been able to pretty much read a book a day. I have several more books to read, but eventually will need to either buy some, or go to the library!
Today I got some things ready for student teaching. I updated my portfolio--I had to put my management plan on there. You can see my portfolio at:
http://www.students.dsu.edu/smnelson1458/Portfolio/template.htm
=)
If anyone out there actually looks at it, can you tell me if my management plan is up? It works for me, but I'd like to make sure it works for someone else. It should have about 5 or 6 sections... with a picture of a classroom set up and a table (behavior matrix) and lots of words about policies and things like that.
I can't believe that in less than a week, school will be in session! The first day is going to be the longest. I will have to be there from 8 am (which means I have to leave here by 6:45 am) until 5 pm at least (which means I'll get home around 6 pm). Have to dress up that day as well. Yuck. Hopefully I'll get money from school this semester, or I won't have any money for gas to drive to Madison every single day for two weeks!
Today I also took my music off of my external hard drive and put it on my laptop... (copied it.. so it's still on my EHD). Then I put a bunch of music on my iPod that was on my computer but not on my iPod--things like all the music my brother gave me and old music I have found recently. My iPod should be pretty up to date now, though I have found several CDs (Casting Crowns, Bethany Dillion, etc) that I do not have on my iPod.. so eventually I will need to put them all on my computer so I can put them on my iPod. :)
I'm still waiting to hear from both schools about grad school. I suppose they are still on break... I wish they would hurry up and answer me! I am worried that I won't have any time to study for the GRE... scary.
Alright I'm going to go read a little bit. I'm so tired right now. I'm hoping that I'll make it to bed early tonight!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Long day!
Wow.. I am so exhausted and sore that I can't even tell you in words how much I want to go to bed right now!
I had plans to go see my friend Erica in Sioux Falls and have breakfast with her... I didn't sleep well last night and was up for awhile around 3. I fell back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:45, but I shut it off and went back to sleep til my mom came in to wake me up. I did NOT want to get up early!
I made it to Sioux Falls, though, and had a GREAT time catching up with Erica. We haven't seen each other since 2006, and have talked very little in that time. It was so nice to see her and talk and get a hug and a picture! =)
I came back to Brookings and shoveled a lot of heavy snow... there was a strip between my car and the grass that never got shoveled, because there wasn't enough room to get to it--and I wasn't using my car for a few weeks. The snow was at least a foot high, probably higher. It was heavy, wet snow. I got over half the job done before my mom came home and scolded me! Shoveling KILLS my back, so I don't ever do it. But I wanted to be helpful... so I did over half of it and then came inside to get ready to go babysit and grab a quick lunch.
I got to Aimee's at 1 to watch Chaya. That was fun, as always. Aimee got home around 4, but I stayed and talked until 5. Was nice to just catch up a bit and hang out. =)
I got home about 45 min ago and helped my mom with a few things. I was gone from 8 to 5, and was standing or sitting or walking the whole time. I haven't gone that long without laying down in about a month. Factor in chasing a baby around... and shoveling.. and I'm hurting pretty badly!
It was a good day though, and well worth it. Pretty soon I will eat some supper and watch some TV for awhile. Time to relax and rest! I will probably also do a bit of reading before bed. I'm hoping to go to bed early tonight and wake up somewhat early tomorrow to start getting myself in a schedule. I don't know if I'll set my alarm for 6:45, but will probably try to be up by 8 or 9. I am watching Chaya tomorrow at 1 as well. =)
I'm going to go start some supper and take my medicine. I will update again soon, I'm sure!
I had plans to go see my friend Erica in Sioux Falls and have breakfast with her... I didn't sleep well last night and was up for awhile around 3. I fell back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:45, but I shut it off and went back to sleep til my mom came in to wake me up. I did NOT want to get up early!
I made it to Sioux Falls, though, and had a GREAT time catching up with Erica. We haven't seen each other since 2006, and have talked very little in that time. It was so nice to see her and talk and get a hug and a picture! =)
I came back to Brookings and shoveled a lot of heavy snow... there was a strip between my car and the grass that never got shoveled, because there wasn't enough room to get to it--and I wasn't using my car for a few weeks. The snow was at least a foot high, probably higher. It was heavy, wet snow. I got over half the job done before my mom came home and scolded me! Shoveling KILLS my back, so I don't ever do it. But I wanted to be helpful... so I did over half of it and then came inside to get ready to go babysit and grab a quick lunch.
I got to Aimee's at 1 to watch Chaya. That was fun, as always. Aimee got home around 4, but I stayed and talked until 5. Was nice to just catch up a bit and hang out. =)
I got home about 45 min ago and helped my mom with a few things. I was gone from 8 to 5, and was standing or sitting or walking the whole time. I haven't gone that long without laying down in about a month. Factor in chasing a baby around... and shoveling.. and I'm hurting pretty badly!
It was a good day though, and well worth it. Pretty soon I will eat some supper and watch some TV for awhile. Time to relax and rest! I will probably also do a bit of reading before bed. I'm hoping to go to bed early tonight and wake up somewhat early tomorrow to start getting myself in a schedule. I don't know if I'll set my alarm for 6:45, but will probably try to be up by 8 or 9. I am watching Chaya tomorrow at 1 as well. =)
I'm going to go start some supper and take my medicine. I will update again soon, I'm sure!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Cue: Crazy life
This week starts the craziness that is my life again!
The last few weeks I've done nothing but lay around in my PJs and relax--partly because it's been Christmas break, and party because I've been in a lot of pain.
Today I was able to relax a bit. I finished book 4 in my 100 book challenge, and started book 5.
Tonight, my mom and I went out to her friend Robin's house and started learning how to crochet. We went right from the basic idea to a more complex stitch and I became frustrated because I couldn't do it. Turns out there was an in between stitch that we skipped over. We went back and I learned that and picked it up easily. Things generally come naturally to me and there isn't much that I have to really work hard to do--so it's hard when I can't get something right. I'm going to practice the single stitch for awhile until I am comfortable with it, and then we'll probably go back and she can show me how to make a blanket. :)
I need to try to get to bed early tonight, because I have a busy day tomorrow. I am driving to Sioux Falls early tomorrow morning (have to leave here at 8 which means I have to be up before 7) to have breakfast with a good friend that I haven't seen since 2006. I'm so excited to see her and take a picture together! :) I saw her parents in October, but really miss Erica!
So we'll sit and talk for a few hours and I will head back to Brookings. I am watching Chaya at 1--I don't know how long I will be there... several hours, I assume.
Then, if I am done before 5, I have to go run an errand for student teaching. If I'm still there at 5, I will have to do that Wednesday. I will also be watching Chaya Wednesday afternoon.
I also want to get to the library and get a new card some time this week.
I can't believe that next Thursday school starts again! From next Thursday on, I'll be getting up at 6:30 am. Yuck! I'm starting tonight to try to get my sleeping schedule back on a normal schedule. It helps that I will wake up early tomorrow.
As I've said before, I have been involved for years with an online church/ministry. That will be closing soon (probably), so three of the staff at the church (staff meaning leaders--we aren't paid, but we're called staff) started a new church. I've put hours and hours (sometimes 6 or more hours a day, sometimes many hours a week) into this ministry. I e-mail out my final "resignation letter" last night. I will not only be quitting with the first ministry, but also the new one. While I am a bit sad to lose that part of my life, I know God is taking me elsewhere. I'll be busy with school and getting more involved with my church. I have a peace about it all--but it'll be hard to delete the program off my computer and totally walk away!
My eyes burn like I am exhausted, yet I don't feel like I could sleep. I'm going to wait a bit and then get some water and try to be in bed by 10:30. That would give me 8 hours of sleep. We'll see if it happens or not. I'm going to finish a few things and think about heading to bed! :)
The last few weeks I've done nothing but lay around in my PJs and relax--partly because it's been Christmas break, and party because I've been in a lot of pain.
Today I was able to relax a bit. I finished book 4 in my 100 book challenge, and started book 5.
Tonight, my mom and I went out to her friend Robin's house and started learning how to crochet. We went right from the basic idea to a more complex stitch and I became frustrated because I couldn't do it. Turns out there was an in between stitch that we skipped over. We went back and I learned that and picked it up easily. Things generally come naturally to me and there isn't much that I have to really work hard to do--so it's hard when I can't get something right. I'm going to practice the single stitch for awhile until I am comfortable with it, and then we'll probably go back and she can show me how to make a blanket. :)
I need to try to get to bed early tonight, because I have a busy day tomorrow. I am driving to Sioux Falls early tomorrow morning (have to leave here at 8 which means I have to be up before 7) to have breakfast with a good friend that I haven't seen since 2006. I'm so excited to see her and take a picture together! :) I saw her parents in October, but really miss Erica!
So we'll sit and talk for a few hours and I will head back to Brookings. I am watching Chaya at 1--I don't know how long I will be there... several hours, I assume.
Then, if I am done before 5, I have to go run an errand for student teaching. If I'm still there at 5, I will have to do that Wednesday. I will also be watching Chaya Wednesday afternoon.
I also want to get to the library and get a new card some time this week.
I can't believe that next Thursday school starts again! From next Thursday on, I'll be getting up at 6:30 am. Yuck! I'm starting tonight to try to get my sleeping schedule back on a normal schedule. It helps that I will wake up early tomorrow.
As I've said before, I have been involved for years with an online church/ministry. That will be closing soon (probably), so three of the staff at the church (staff meaning leaders--we aren't paid, but we're called staff) started a new church. I've put hours and hours (sometimes 6 or more hours a day, sometimes many hours a week) into this ministry. I e-mail out my final "resignation letter" last night. I will not only be quitting with the first ministry, but also the new one. While I am a bit sad to lose that part of my life, I know God is taking me elsewhere. I'll be busy with school and getting more involved with my church. I have a peace about it all--but it'll be hard to delete the program off my computer and totally walk away!
My eyes burn like I am exhausted, yet I don't feel like I could sleep. I'm going to wait a bit and then get some water and try to be in bed by 10:30. That would give me 8 hours of sleep. We'll see if it happens or not. I'm going to finish a few things and think about heading to bed! :)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Quickie
I haven't been feeling up to updating the last few days.
My back has been pretty bad, and my sleep issues have caused me to just be absolutely exhausted. I have no energy to do anything of any importance.
I am, as I said before, doing a challenge to read 100 books in 2010. I just started book 4. In case you want to see what I'm reading, the URL for my list is here:
http://sarahmaesbookblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/100-book-challenge-list.html
I've not done much besides sleep, be on the computer, and read since Jan 1st. I will probably update again when I'm feeling better, but I'm just kinda "blah" right now.
I'm going to take two of my sleep pills tonight and hope that tomorrow is a better day. I'm off to get ready for bed. Been going to bed between 2 and 5 am--it's only 1:30, but I'm exhausted. Need to transition to waking up early before classes start. Class is at 8 am with an hour drive.
My back has been pretty bad, and my sleep issues have caused me to just be absolutely exhausted. I have no energy to do anything of any importance.
I am, as I said before, doing a challenge to read 100 books in 2010. I just started book 4. In case you want to see what I'm reading, the URL for my list is here:
http://sarahmaesbookblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/100-book-challenge-list.html
I've not done much besides sleep, be on the computer, and read since Jan 1st. I will probably update again when I'm feeling better, but I'm just kinda "blah" right now.
I'm going to take two of my sleep pills tonight and hope that tomorrow is a better day. I'm off to get ready for bed. Been going to bed between 2 and 5 am--it's only 1:30, but I'm exhausted. Need to transition to waking up early before classes start. Class is at 8 am with an hour drive.
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